In the midst of the current “shitstorm” that has hit the Pagan Community in the wake of the recent arrest of well-known Pagan author, musician and High Priest Kenny Klein on multiple counts of possessing child pornography, I was compelled to remember a somewhat comparable situation, which I read a few years ago.
It’s a short entry in the book Eyes of Desire 2: A Deaf GLBT Reader (Raymond Luczak, editor; published by Handtype Press.) This anthology is a collection of stories, interviews, poems and more from deaf and hearing people all over the world sharing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences in the GLBT community.
In this entry Daniel J. Langholtz, a Deaf long-time resident of San Francisco recalls a situation he encountered years before:
A pair of hands caught our attention: “Hey everyone, look at me.”
I was meeting a group of Deaf gay people at a social gathering. I was new to town.
“I need your support. Please donate some money for ‘Unfamiliar-Name-Sign’ so he can buy some personal items while in jail.”
I asked the fellow next to me what ‘Unfamiliar-Name-Sign’ was arrested for.
“He molested deaf kids.”
He caught my aghast look and continued. “He is a part of our Deaf gay family. He made a mistake and he needs our support. You wouldn’t disown your own brother if he’d done the same thing?”
That was the moment I gained profound respect for a strong kinship among the Deaf gay community, and I wanted to be a part of it.
Eyes of Desire 2
Copyright 2007, page 344
I don’t think in any way was Dan condoning this man’s actions. Rather, with this entry he was sharing the memory of a moment when he learned an important lesson: that it is possible and perhaps even vital that even when one has engaged in acts we personally find morally repugnant (not to mention legally unacceptable), that we still acknowledge and support such individuals as members of our family.
We don’t have to like the person or approve of his behavior. It’s perfectly fine to expect and even demand that such person pay the price for his mistake. In the above case, the individual was arrested, tried, found guilty, and sentenced to jail for his criminal activities…activities that involved inappropriate sexual behavior towards children.
And yet in spite of such, the Deaf Gay Community still recognized him as a member of their family; still saw him worthy of soliciting donations so he could buy personal items. How many people chose to make a donation I don’t know…and I think such information is irrelevant.
What is relevant is that this community, rather than playing judge, jury, and executioner…chose instead to play the role of a support system, thus helping to heal not only this particular miscreant, but also all members of the family. And in doing so, earning the respect and admiration of a newcomer who thus desired to become part of such a community and engage in such kinship himself.
Perhaps this is the lesson that all of us can learn from.
Yes, what Kenny Klein did disturbs most of us, including myself. Yes, we can find it sickening. Yes, we can and should be outraged by these allegations, especially if they prove to be true and result in legal proceedings. Yes, we can and should demand punishment as determined appropriate from within a courtroom for engaging in such behaviors…and justice for the victims of said behaviors.
But we cannot and should not demand lynching, execution, or other forms of violence against this man. Such actions are counterproductive to the goal of healing our family, and will likely not earn us the respect and admiration of others, both within and outside of the community.
I haven’t been keeping up with all the discussion on this subject – partially because I’ve deactivated my Facebook account while dealing with some personal health issues. However, from what I have seen there seems to be a “Kenny Klein Wasn’t a Real Pagan” debate going on in the social network.
This makes me roll my eyes and heave a big sigh. It also makes me think of comparative issues within the Deaf Community. Believe it or not, we Deafies have been guilty of similar behavior… of dismissing those with whom we disagree or disapprove by pointing a finger and claiming that they are not “true members of the Deaf Community”…i.e. they are not deaf enough.
Let’s not turn this into an issue of identity politics. For better or for worse, Kenny Klein identified himself as a Pagan. And as bitter a pill as it might be to swallow, Pagans are capable of committing heinous crimes. There are plenty of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and the like who have done some pretty crappy things.
We can add a couple of Pagans to that shit pile.
Likewise, there are a number of Deaf individuals who have committed some heinous crimes, including murder.
Back in 2000 and 2001, the campus of Gallaudet University – the world’s only liberal arts college specifically designed for the education of deaf and hard of hearing students (and my alma mater) – was rocked by the murders of two freshman students. The first occurred in September of 2000 when a student was found his dorm room having been beaten to death. Then less than five months later a second body was discovered…in his room in the same dormitory, having been stabbed multiple times.
And that familial bond of deaf solidarity was forever shattered.
Certainly no human community is paradise. But up to then, the assumption that a deaf person would murder another deaf person was a foreign idea. Fight with, cheat on, steal from…certainly. But not kill.
But it was in fact a fellow deaf freshman who killed these two students. He confessed to both crimes, stood trial, was convicted, and is now serving life in prison without parole.
And members of the Deaf Community are now left to acknowledge that rather than being different from others…when it comes to murder, they are the same.
Perhaps this is what troubles the Pagan Community regarding the Kenny Klein incident – being forced to admit that rather than being above all this monstrosity, we are essentially the same. Being forced to admit that for all that familial bonding, that sense of solidarity that we feel with others who share our Path…
there will still be members of our community who will do unspeakable things. Things we don’t want to imagine any Pagan being capable of doing… and especially not to other members of our community:
Murder.
Domestic Violence.
Sexual Abuse.
Child Pornography.
The list goes on.
And when something like this happens, the shattering echoes through our community. We feel anger. We feel grief. We feel a sense of loss.
We feel the breaking of that solidarity.
We can no longer pretend. We can no longer deny the harsh reality of the truth – that for better or for worse, we are a part of the greater world… and in that greater world, people do bad things. Hurtful things. Illegal things. Things against the people they love. Things against fellow members of the community.
We are forced – on an individual basis and as a collective group – to revisit our definition of “family” and review our criteria for determining who can be considered a member of such. Does committing an illegal act constitute ousting from the clan… a banishment, a shunning?
In the case of the Deaf gay child molester, or even the Deaf student murderer… no, it does not. These individuals are still Deaf, and the Deaf Community still acknowledges them as such. They may not desire to associate with them as friends, but they can and still do support them as needed. Even when a Deaf person commits a crime, members of the community will still advocate for Equal Communication Access to assure that s/he has sign language interpreters and/or other modes of communication available as necessary during the arrest, trial, and prison sentence.
We will also reach out to our Deaf victims and survivors…assuring them that they are not alone, and are likewise still members of our family. We will support them as possible, and aid them in finding services that will meet their needs.
Perhaps it is time for the Pagan Community to take a page from the Deaf Culture workbook.
Don’t get me wrong…I am not recommending that we take up a collection to help Kenny buy personal items while in jail. I’m not even suggesting that we have to like the guy, or view him as being a “brother.” But we can still advocate for him to receive appropriate legal representation, and work to assure that the legal proceedings focus on his inappropriate activities and not his spiritual beliefs. We can join with the system, rather than trying to replace it.
We can offer our assistance to those who have been affected by Kenny’s actions. We can listen to them, support them, guide them in finding the help they need.
We can begin healing ourselves, each other, and our community. And in the process, rediscover our strength, our security, our solidarity.
We can be a family.
To add to this… the Gallaudet murders are not the only incident of Deaf killing Deaf. In February of 2006, a Deaf woman in South Dakota kidnapped and killed another Deaf woman, and then dismembered the body with a chain saw. Although it was argued that this individual deserved to die by lethal injection (and would have been the first Deaf defendant to be executed), she ended up receiving life in prison without parole – the same sentence that the Gallaudet murderer received.
As for the Pagan Community, my heart goes out to them as they deal with this incident. Certainly possession of child pornography is a far cry from murder, but nonetheless I can appreciate the feeling of solidarity perhaps being broken as a result of this. But that doesn’t have to be the case – just as the Gallaudet Community has come back stronger and wiser for having gone thru this tragedy. The community has healed. Certainly the campus has been rocked by other incidents in the years since, but the Deaf Community has bonded together and indeed rediscovered their strength, their security, and their solidarity. I don’t think you can ever take that away from them… at least not permanently. By the same token, I don’t think you can take it away from the Pagan Community either. That sense of identity, that sense of family is just too strong.
Thank you, Ocean…for showing us a parallelism that I otherwise would not have seen. Your dual membership in both communities brings us new insights, and opens our eyes to issues we might never have considered had you not brought them to the forefront. The eloquence by which you share your perspectives are a credit to both communities, and I hope that you will continue to do so.
P.S. I hope you’re feeling better, and I send you healing energies to help you deal with your health issues. Get well soon, my friend. I love you.
Greetings Ocean,
I applaud your sense of humanity. I truly do. I have spoken out loudly and strongly for healing for the people KK has hurt. I have begged the pagan community to reach out to them and give them strength and support. I have even asked them to stop talking about retribution as a solution. Mostly I have asked them to learn to listen to those that have been hurt within the community and find ways to protect those that are vulnerable. Education is the answer of course.
I have more than a little personal stake in this. I was his wife. My children were harmed by his hands and illness. Yes, illness. Do I want him to go to jail? Yes, if the courts can finally find a charge to stick and get him into therapy then yes. But let me say again as I did on a different forum: There is no punishment that the courts can hand down that will come near the torment and fear he must be feeling right now. There is nothing the legal system can do that will ever replace how he lost a family, a biological son and a step-daughter. He was not there to see them learn to read or ride bicycles. He missed first days of school, learning to drive. The fear and excitement of a first (appropriate) kiss. The heartache of a first break up. He missed the late night video games and ice cream for breakfast. He missed graduations and awards ceremonies. He missed all of it.
Should the pagan community offer him some kind of support? Perhaps, but it should come from people that are willing to do so not from a mandate. Is he a pagan? Yes. I should know best of all, I was his initiating priestess and once I was deeply in love with him. Even through the past 22 years of not being believed and all the pain, I always said that should he ever call me I would be there to help him. To do anything less would be a disservice to the oaths I swore.
I fear him being a jail cell. We know what happens to people convicted of child pornography or molestation. Yet, he made his choices. Back in 1991 when we were investigated in Texas for allegations of sexual abuse and we were tipped off that they were coming to back to take the children, we jumped the state line to Oklahoma. We were on our way to a gathering in Ohio. I remember my moment of clarity when I just “knew” he had done something horrible. I remember as if it were today telling him that if he had done something and needed help I would stand by him. Mind you, I was a victim of domestic violence but still loved him. He pulled the van onto the shoulder and backhanded me. My lip split in two, yet again.
It is not as easy as buying him something in jail or even helping with a legal defense. It is a question of the community learning that there are extreme differences between what is ethical, moral, or legal. They do not always fall into agreement.
I have no doubt there will be some that lend KK some support and I have no argument with those people. I can no longer be that person but I can and do ask the Gods to watch over him and help him accept that what he has been doing for all these years is wrong. I ask the Gods to help him find the words to apologize for his actions. And I can ask the community to listen.
Blessed Be,
Tzipora
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Tzipora.
I’m not sure I have any good words of response for your comment. All I can say is that I wish healing for you and for everyone impacted by KK’s actions, including Kenny himself. And may justice be served.
When the legal system does the right thing I know my family will sleep easier.
as i said before you are a very srtong and loving lady and have a beautiful heart all i would love to see is healing for you and your children even though they are now adults and see that justice is finaly served if we can help him that would be great and i would do as you ask and try to help him but my heart is with you first my lady
many blessings and healing for you
Robert Case
Tzipora, I made a public stance (which cost me personally) to not rush to judgment until I knew all the facts of the case. I would do the same for anyone. I was not around to witness what you went through, I have only known him as a friend for the last few years, who was good to me and mine. I have certainly learned more and more as the week has gone on about this person I called “friend”, and I am struggling to reconcile these two. As a victim of DV myself, I can not begin to express to you the admiration I have for you, and the inspiration you have given not only me, but others in the pagan community and abroad, and showing us what true human decency is. (((hugs)))
Donna,
I am so sorry that you have also known the pain and horror of DV. I had to leave the community for many reasons and I’m sure that the stories were wide and varied. I have no anger or bitterness left in me for anyone that “took his side” 22 years ago. It’s in the past. I have no problem with people that met him and friended him after the fact. I cannot pretend to know the internal struggle so many people are facing. Let’s be honest, he was funny, witty, and had a way of making you feel like the single most important person in the world.
I can assure you, when I first met him I didn’t think to myself, “And someday he’s going to hurt me and my child” I was caught up in his charm and it was that same charm that kept me coming back after each 711 rose or pair of earrings he gave me.
Now it is time for healing and listening. We must all learn the lessons from the past and move forward together with a common goal to keep our brothers, sisters, and children safe from harm’s way. No more and certainly no less is acceptable.
BB