Deaf Pagan Crossroads

During the holiday season, many individuals -Pagans and Christians alike – can be found decorating their households with various types of greenery. Evergreen branches such as pine, fir, spruce and juniper deck the halls, and other plants also make a grand appearance during this “most wonderful time of the year”… including holly, ivy, and mistletoe.

Of course, who can resist the urge to steal a kiss under a sprig of mistletoe?

But just what is mistletoe… and why do we feel compelled to pucker our lips at the sight of it?

For all its romantic connections, mistletoe is not a particularly romantic plant. In fact, it actually refers to a group of hemi-parasitic plants which attach themselves to the branches of a tree or shrub, and feed off their host for water and nutrients. Although generally it only serves to retard the growth, in heavy infestations mistletoe can actually kill the host plant. Due to such, mistletoe is often viewed as a pest, but in recent years it has been recognized and valued for its ecological importance. A wide number of animals depend on mistletoe for food, and many also utilize it for nesting sites. Thus mistletoe can have a positive effect upon biodiversity.

In fact, one story about the origin of the plant’s name refers to this effect – ancient peoples would notice that the plant seemed to burst forth from tree branches as if by magic. Some believed this was the result of the tree having been struck by lightning – lightning being a symbol of the awesome power of the gods. With a bit more scientific investigation, people came to realize that the plant was actually springing up from the droppings of birds…particularly the excrement of the mistel thrush. Mistel is the Anglo-Saxon word for “dung” while “tan” is the word for twig. Thus mistel-tan, which later became the word mistletoe, basically translated into “dung-on-a-twig.”

So not only are we embracing under a parasite, but we’re bussing beneath birdshit-on-a-branch.

But just where does the concept of kissing under the mistletoe come from?

Certainly the custom pops up in various literary works, as demonstrated in the writings of Washington Irving:

Here were kept up the old games of hoodman blind, shoe the wild mare, hot cockles, steal the white loaf, bob apple, and snap dragon; the Yule-clog and Christmas candle were regularly burnt, and the mistletoe with its white berries hung up, to the imminent peril of all the pretty housemaids.

~ The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent.

Charles Dickens gets into the act as well:

“From the centre of the ceiling of this kitchen, old Wardle had just suspended with his own hands a huge branch of mistletoe, and this same branch of mistletoe instantaneously gave rise to a scene of general and most delightful struggling and confusion; in the midst of which, Mr. Pickwick, with a gallantry that would have done honour to a descendant of Lady Tollimglower herself, took the old lady by the hand, led her beneath the mystic branch, and saluted her in all courtesy and decorum.”

~ The Pickwick Papers

There are many different stories and origins associated with this holiday tradition. Some say that it harkens back to ancient Roman times, and the celebrations of Saturnalia. In addition, the Romans believed such a kiss was the way to seal a betrothal, and because the mistletoe was seen as a fertility plant, to kiss under it would bring both fertility and good fortune to the marriage.

Another belief is that it harkens back to ancient Scandinavian times, and an old Norse myth that identified the mistletoe as a plant of peace…that if enemies met under a tree bearing bunches of mistletoe, they laid down their weapons and declared a truce until the next day. This custom evolved over time into the modern-day tradition. Such a belief goes hand-in-hand with the story of Baldur, and the mistletoe becoming a symbol of love.

Regardless of its origins, the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe was passed on throughout the centuries, and by the 1800’s was being practiced in various parts of Europe… as well as in America, where the custom had been brought by those immigrating to new lands. However, one aspect of the tradition seems to have been lost in modern times. This concerns the berries which grow along with the plant – Washington Irving footnoted his description of Christmas festivities by explaining that

The mistletoe is still hung up in farm-houses and kitchens at Christmas, and the young men have the privilege of kissing the girls under it, plucking each time a berry from the bush. When the berries are all plucked the privilege ceases.

It seems like nowadays we have conveniently forgotten about the plucking-the-berries and desisting part, undoubtedly seeking any opportunity to steal a kiss from the one who steals your heart.

While it is perfectly acceptable to honor the tradition by simply hanging up a sprig or two of mistletoe, one might want to consider copying an eighteenth century English custom of the kissing ball – made with mistletoe and garnished with festive ribbons as well as other plants of the holiday season, such as holly or ivy (the two other sacred plants of Yule). A young lady standing under a kissing ball at Christmas time cannot refuse a kiss, and if she does not receive one she might as well put away her hopes – remaining smoochless was an indication that one would not marry in the coming year. By the same token, lovers puckering up under the mistletoe was considered an intention to marry, and such a kiss was viewed as a prediction of happiness and long life for the couple. In France the custom of the kissing ball was reserved for New Year’s Eve – “Au gui l’An neuf” (Mistletoe for the New Year). Nowadays amorous celebrants can pretty much lock lips any time during the holiday season.

This item was also known as the “kissing bunch” and in later years took on a Christianized version:

The kissing bunch is always an elaborate affair. The size depends upon the couple of hoops – one thrust through the other – which form its skeleton.

Each of the ribs is garlanded with holly, ivy, sprigs of other greens, with bits of colored ribbons and paper roses, rosy-cheeked apples, especially reserved for this occasion, and oranges.

Three small dolls are also prepared, often with much taste, and these represent our Savior Jesus, Mary the mother of Jesus, and Joseph.

These dolls generally hang within the kissing bunch by strings from the top, and are surrounded by apples, oranges tied to strings, and various brightly colored ornaments. Occasionally, however, the dolls are arranged in the kissing bunch to represent a manger scene.

Mistletoe is not very plentiful in Derbyshire; but generally a bit is obtainable, and is carefully tied to the bottom of the kissing bunch, which is then hung in the middle of the house-place, the center of attention during Christmastide.

~ Notes and Queries, 5th Series, Vol. VIII

The long-standing association of mistletoe with fertility has remained in our consciousness to this very day, and is echoed in the continuing tradition of kissing under the mistletoe. In recognition of this ancient Solstice tradition, you might want to create your own kissing ball or kissing bunch, woven from strands of holly, ivy, and mistletoe…and perhaps hung with figures of your own devising to represent the deities.

In any case, hanging a sprig can be a wonderful reminder of the ancient history and traditions of this magickal, mythical plant.