The other day, when I was leaving my apartment to head to work, I came face-to-face with one of the Mother’s creatures… and that chance meeting has been in my thoughts ever since.
The creature was a young buck – a white-tailed deer with a small rack of antlers. He was walking across the yard when I came outside, and as I walked up the sidewalk towards the parking lot, we both stopped to gaze upon each other. We were no more than eight to ten feet apart from one another. As I looked into his eyes, I didn’t sense any fear or panic on the deer’s part…just a wary curiosity. The way he studied me, I almost felt as if this creature was trying to tell me something.
And perhaps he was. Animals have often been considered messengers of the deities; or at the very least…powerful totems or spirit guides. They have lessons to teach us – lessons about adaptation, lessons about relationships, lessons about potential, lessons about life itself.
So what messages does this young stag bring for me…what lessons am I supposed to learn?
First of all, the fact that this was a male deer as opposed to a female (doe) is significant. Although the Deer itself is connected to the Goddess, the stag is often recognized as a symbol of the God:
Great God, Horned One of the forests and wild places, Lord of the Sun, Bringer of warmth and light; You who run with the swift stag, soar with the birds in the sky, and protect all the Mother’s children; You who are born of the Goddess, Her lover and Her son, as are all men…
The stag, a symbol of the God’s warrior spirit… of his verility and fertility… of his role as protector. The stag, proud and independent.
So what is the message here? Am I in need of protection? If so, what exactly do I need protecting from? This I do not know.
I do know that much like the stag, I take pride in my independence, and thus do not like to ask for help… preferring instead to handle things on my own. The problem with this is that sometimes I get myself into situations where I really could use a little help from my friends, but I don’t know how to ask for it, or how to accept it when its offered.
I’ve recently moved from the Midwest to the West Coast, having accepted a job with an agency located in the Bay Area. Such a move has been filled with many changes, requiring the need for much adjustment in my life.
Those adjustments are not coming so easily. To be brutally honest, I’m struggling.
So when I saw this stag, my immediate thoughts were to try and define whatever messages and lessons he had for me from the perspective of the transitions currently going on in my life.
It’s interesting, because truthfully..in the many years that I have been practicing the Craft, I’ve never really developed a strong relationship with the God. Perhaps that is the message here – the need to tap more into that Male energy and utilize it to help me deal with some of the challenges I am currently facing with all of these changes.
On the other hand, the Deer also teaches us gentleness…and this is definitely something that is not one of my strengths. I’m not a gentle person – either with myself or with others. I tend to be my own worst critic, and I can be quite critical of others as well.
The past few weeks I have been rather hard on myself (and hard on others as well) as I struggle with the frustrations of settling into a new home and a new job. It feels like I can’t seem to get anything to go right…
I can’t seem to conquer my dyscalculia/dysgeographica to the point where I can even drive myself to the grocery store and back home again without getting lost. I can’t figure out how to work the damn GPS gadget that the agency gave me in hopes that it would help me learn how to navigate my way around the Bay Area. I can’t seem to make heads and tails of all the different resources here in the Bay Area that I’m expected to know so that I can provide appropriate services to my clients. I can’t seem to get my clients to understand that it takes time to develop that knowledge and expertise. I can’t seem to ground myself. I can’t seem to raise the energy that I need. I can’t seem to get over this sickening feeling in my stomach that this whole move has been one big mistake, and that I’m not meant to be here, living in the Bay Area and working for this agency.
I can’t seem to…
And I hate the fact that I can’t, and I hate myself for feeling this overwhelming sense of defeatism.
And perhaps it is for this very reason that the Deer has come into my life.
Be gentle with yourself, Osh. Nobody expects you to “can” in your first month. It may take a full year before you feel totally confident with “can.” Don’t try to force it. Let it happen in its own time. See this whole experience as an opportunity to grow and expand.
Certainly this is easier said than done. But as the antlers of the Stag reach up to the sky, they also remind me not to be afraid to reach for higher levels of attunement… to connect myself to the energies of Spirit.
And to trust in my ability to do so.
Trust in my sense of intuition, my perceptions, my inner thoughts.
These are all characteristics of the Deer, lessons that he teaches us.
And whenever my outermost thoughts start racing and scrambling around in my brain, bringing on that sense of panic and frustration and feelings of failure and despair – take a deep breath and calm them. Remember to balance that need for power and control with a recognition of the importance of love and compassion.
Be gentle with yourself, Osh. And be compassionate with others.
And know that whatever path I walk, whatever adventure I journey… I travel not alone.
For the Goddess and God are with me, embodied as they often are in the spirit of all creatures… great and small.
She Who Dances With the Deer
original artwork by Karen Hendrikse
www.ravenwoodart.com/KarenH.htm
Blessings,
~ Ocean
This sculpture shows the sign for "connect"...and that is what Deaf Pagan Crossroads is all about - making connections. Connections between Deafhood and Paganism, connections between the Deaf Community and the Hearing Community, connections between myself as the writer and you as the reader. I hope you will take the time to read my various posts, some of which are listed below. Welcome to the Crossroads, and I hope you make some connections here!
Biblical example from this Sunday’s message.
Israelites were being led out of the wilderness, came to a river. Pharoah’s army approached and they panicked.
Moses said, calm down.
God said, keep moving, I brought you this way, I am going to take you all the way.
(my paraphrase of Exodus 14)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%2014&version=9
Keep moving, keep going, don’t get stopped by the fear. Keep doing what you’re doing, push through the fear, and you’ll see the way out in the right timing.
Isn’t is wonderful how an animal can bring a sense of order to our otherwise hectic lives? They ARE messengers… take your time Osh. You are a strong person. This is just one of the paths you have to take in your life. I know it’s hard, but you will get the hang of it!! I know you will.
Sounds like you are in the process of adjusting to the changes and it is good to know that you feel connected with the animals. The animals constantly adjust to the minimal or/and maximal changes in the environment, to the perceived and real enemies, etc. We are not much different from the animals, are we?
Takes time to put down the roots in a new place.
when i looked at the picture of the buck . i got a sense of pride and steadfastness, as if he were saying be calm no fear. bb birch
Yes, the deers are wonderful creatures. I see them on a regular basis up where I am and they never cease to inspire awe and wonder in me. What a blessing to connect with it this way! Big HUGS.
When I see about the stag. I believe that the stag try to commuicate with you. When you look at stag. You will feel it and in mind wonder with time. You will know later. I have experience it with wolf when I had it in
Arizona. It was an amazing. Thank u
Blessed Be
Witchpi
Yet again the amazing happenings of Ocean ; )
Your interactions with wildnerness, with the universal spirit has always amazed me. You see hope and messages.. in everything thing and that is such a beautiful thing to hold and great way to keep your motivation high and your mindset strong.
Have I ever told you, that you were my hero?
Through the years I’ve known you, you’ve never let something hold you back.. maybe a little while, but in the end you know what is right, and you did the right thing, Mum. You are so frustrated because you want to show your new office everything you can do, and you know you have so much to show, because I know you been waiting for this chance.. and now that you finally have it you feel like your failing them.
but your not.
I’m almost positive that as much as you amaze me… you are amazing them.
Keep that will power strong my darling, Mum.
You can do anything, and you know we are here for you every step of the way!
Muirin
I’ve had to mull this over a bit before I could comment. The reason why is because upon reading your words and seeing the photos, a Tarot card came to mind (literally flashed!) and I wanted to think about what that might mean before I came here and rambled about it.
What came to mind for me was the card Strength and, from all the decks I’ve seen and own, it was from the Rider-Waite deck (going back to my roots here…it was my first deck). It is the picture of the woman taming the lion. I thought about what great strength and courage it took for you to pack up and move as you did. Strength and courage, of course, are only the first step. For the “taming” you need patience and love, and a certain sense of fearlessness within and about self, YOUR self. Confidence, in other words. But that’s hard to come by when you’re making mistakes and feeling overwhelmed by all you don’t know yet. All those things you mentioned will come, in time. But you know that.
It was something I read about Strength, though, that came to mind when I read this post. Something that reminded me of you. After a bit of a search, I found it:
“Strength opens up the personality like Pandora opening her box. It does so, however, with a sense of peace, a love of live itself, and a great confidence in the final result. Unless we truly believe that the process of self-discovery is a joyous one we will never follow it through.”
That’s from Rachel Pollack’s Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom.
Pollack goes on to describe the card as connected to that of the Chariot. Strength shows a woman whereas the Chariot shows a man. They are two different kinds of strengths and connections, male and female, God and Goddess, rationality and emotion, aggression and surrender. She has other instances of how this card seems to draw in both male and female powers/aspects.
And since I’m reading and quoting Pollack, I’ll leave you with this:
“The card represents the finding of the strength to begin or continue some difficult project, despite fear and emotional pain.”
You’re rockin’, Osh. You just have to keep on keepin’ on. 🙂
Robin
P.S. This is my explanation of why I found this:
Robin steps forward and lights a white candle on the altar, saying
From our deepest fears
The group responds: The Sun is reborn!
… more than interesting. There was something about that flash of the card Strength and fear that came together. I’m not sure I’ve explained any of it well, but these things tend to be hard to explain so I’m hoping that it means something to you (because if it does, then it doesn’t matter that it’s hard to explain).
It means a great deal to me, Robin. Thank you for sharing.
It may feel as if it’s hard to explain, but if one can get past those superficial words (which never explain anything well anyway) and delve into the inner consciousness where words are no longer necessary to explain the truth, practically anything and everything makes sense.
Returning to the source gives me the strength to face those fears… and while I still struggle with those outermost thoughts, the lessons learned from delving within allow me to – as you aptly put it – “keep on keeping on.”
~ Osh
[…] of the issues which have been haunting me since I first arrived in California (see my post on such – “Meeting With the Stag” – here at the Crossroads), and seeking some […]
[…] again the theme of protection has entered my life (see “Meeting With the Stag” posted elsewhere here at the Crossroads). Once again I find myself wondering if I am in need of […]