My hearing friend Crystal Dolphin passed on these lyrics to me from the new Brad Paisley CD that just recently came out. A friend of hers played the song for her the other day, and she got a real kick out of it. I have to agree it’s a real hoot!
When I checked out Brad’s website, I found the video for this song, and then discovered a YouTube version of it, which you can watch below. It’s not captioned, but I have posted the lyrics, so you can get a sense of what the song is saying. (I have contacted Project readOn about captioning it).
Did get me wondering…how many of us Deafies can get away with this? Especially if you’re a vlogger? After all, it’s tough to get away with looking six foot five and pretty damn good on a webcam (not to mention talking via videophones!) And even if you don’t vlog, we all seem to know each other anyway. I don’t think anyone is going to believe me if I told them I drive a Ferrari, I’m 5 ft 9 inches tall, weigh 135 lbs, and my vital stats are 36-24-36.
I still think I’m so much cooler online, though.
Unfortunately, apparently due to copyright issues, the original YouTube video I found is no longer available. However, if you go to Brad’s website, you can see the video there:
Online
by Brad Paisley
I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I’m 5 foot 3 and overweight
I’m a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I’ve never been to second base
But there’s whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace
‘Cause online I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I’m a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don’t want nothing serious
‘Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online
When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time I’ve ever even been to L.A.
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade
Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I’ve been in GQ
I’m single and I’m rich
And I’ve got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell them I don’t want nothing serious
‘Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online
When you got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login
Online
I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
Yeah, I’ll see ya online
Special thanks to Crystal for transcribing the lyrics!
This sculpture shows the sign for "connect"...and that is what Deaf Pagan Crossroads is all about - making connections. Connections between Deafhood and Paganism, connections between the Deaf Community and the Hearing Community, connections between myself as the writer and you as the reader. I hope you will take the time to read my various posts, some of which are listed below. Welcome to the Crossroads, and I hope you make some connections here!
LOL this was funny, except I know there’s a lot of people out in cyberspace who aren’t who they say they are! There’s a deaf blind guy out in cyberspace who pretends he’s a soldier in Iraq!
Ah, you beat me to the punch, Sis…since you sent me the video this morning, I was planning on my lunch break to send a request for captioning of it to Project readOn.
I did get a real kick out of the song (as did my friend who played it for me the other night)…and since I have so many cool online friends – I thought they’d get a laugh too.
Gosh, even without “altering” any information about myself, I still think I am so much cooler online 😉
Happy Friday!
Karen brings up a good point – while many of us in our circle of online friends, v/bloggers tend to paint a true-to-life picture of ourselves to each other – there ARE people out there in cyber-space who ARE NOT who they say they are.
The friend that played me the song earlier this week is actually a high school teacher, and he thought that even though the song is kind of a “spoof” and is quite comical, he would use it as a message to his students to make that very point.
that was defently a hoot, lol hey gess im cooler on line as well thanks for sharing
Yeah, those are the guys I seem to meet… the ones that are cooler on line.. LOL
*fade into your backyard*
*tug my Jedi cloak into place*
*wave ‘hello’*
How had you been doing, milady? Your care of people’s spirituality had gone well for everyone?
*smile and nod in acknowledgment of your accomplishment*
*bow deeply*
Well, milady, I must be going to save the galaxy from evil Sith Lords. Farewell and may the Force be with you.
*stride away and fade away*