Okay folks…
I gotta admit the truth now.
The other day, I put up a blog talking about how I’m currently struggling with a virus that eventually hits all of us who put pen to paper…or in today’s electronic world, fingers to keyboard.
No, I don’t mean chicken pox, herpes, avian flu, or the dreaded Ebola. Nor am I referring to Trojan or Netsky viruses.
I’m talking about that dreaded disease known as Writer’s Block – those moments when you sit in front of your computer screen counting how many times the damn cursor blinks in sixty seconds.
I asked that if any of my fellow Witches, Druids, and Dumbledore clones had a spell to spare, that they send it my way…or if, failing that, they could ship me a case or two of Wonka Bars.
Now for the confession ~
I’m not that crazy about chocolate.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I dislike chocolate. But it doesn’t rank number one on my list of culinary must-haves. Given a choice between ordering chocolate mousse or creme brulee as my sweet ending to a surf and turf dinner, I’ll go for the brulee.
I don’t hoard packages of Cadbury Eggs like my friend Wolfers does. I don’t scour ebay lists looking for great deals on gift boxes of Lady Godiva chocolate creams. I don’t go racing down candy store aisles to tackle some hapless shopper before she purchases that last Valrhona bar (considered by connoisseurs to be the world’s finest chocolate), or camp out in front of Betsy Ann’s in order to be first in line for one of their truffles.
With all due respect to the chocoholics out there, my life just doesn’t revolve around the confectionary treasures of the cacao bean.
But there is another bean out there that does perk my interest.
No, I am not referring to the coffee bean, the lima bean, the mexican jumping bean, or Mr. Bean.
I’m talking about the jelly bean.
Or to be more precise, THE jelly bean – Jelly Bellys.
Like many a kid, I grew up getting my fair share of jelly beans every Easter, and having to dig down amongst that plastic green grass in my basket seeking the very last sugary legume. But these were generally the El Cheapo brand, undoubtedly purchased at a buck a bag from the local Schnucks.
It wasn’t until I was out of college, a young single professional female, that I tried my first Jelly Belly. I can’t remember the flavor now – probably one of those fruit flavors like cherry or grape or whatever.
My eyes lit up. My taste buds danced. Now THIS was a jelly bean! Not just some glob of sugar, corn syrup, red dye #40 and artificial flavoring…this was a true work of art, created by some candymaking genius.
I was hooked. I immediately headed off to the nearest Candyland, where I found bins of Jelly Bellys of all colors and various flavors (they do have 50 official flavors, you know…) Never mind that that they cost an hour’s worth of slavery per pound – I had to have my Jelly Bellys.
I’ve now become a true Jelly Belly connoisseur. I buy them by the poundfuls, and I have sampled all 50 official flavors, along with some of their speciality flavors such as the Jelly Belly Soda Pop Shoppe’s 7Up, the Jelly Belly Smoothie Blend Mandarin Orange Mango, and the Jelly Belly Sour Watermelon. I draw the line at the Jelly Belly Bertie Bott’s Vomit flavored bean, tho…a lady does need to have her boundaries, after all.
I’ve tried out some of the special Jelly Belly Bean Recipes that involve popping three, four, or sometimes even more beans in your mouth all at once, and savoring the flavors together. You can even make a pretty awesome Banana Split that way – one Top Banana, one Chocolate Pudding, one Crushed Pineapple, one Strawberry Jam, one Very Cherry, and one A&W Cream Soda. Cram all into your mouth and chew. Mighty tasty, if I may say so myself.
It wasn’t long before much like former president Ronald Reagan, Jelly Bellys were becoming a staple in my office (that was probably the only thing the two of us had in common). And unlike some of those mean, stingy, cold-hearted chocoholics, I actually SHARED my Jelly Bellys. Of course, I charged a penny per bean, but that’s besides the point.
At the moment, I’m currently “between jobs” and still looking. Amidst typing up resumes, I grab handfuls of my favorite bean to sustain me through the day. And once I do get that luxurious (spell that L-U-D-I-C-R-O-U-S) offer, complete with my own personal Lexus, a fat expense account, and twelve weeks of paid vacation leave per year, you can be assured that my Jelly Bellys will be moving in with me to that corner office with the skyline view.
Jelly Bellys rock!
Now, getting back to a cure for that Writer’s Block…I’m still looking for a spell, so if any of you Merlins, Morgannas, Harry Potters or Broom Hildas have one tucked away in your Book of Shadows, I sure would kindly appreciate your sending it my way.
Otherwise, a pound or two of Jelly Bellys will make my day.
~ Ocean
This sculpture shows the sign for "connect"...and that is what Deaf Pagan Crossroads is all about - making connections. Connections between Deafhood and Paganism, connections between the Deaf Community and the Hearing Community, connections between myself as the writer and you as the reader. I hope you will take the time to read my various posts, some of which are listed below. Welcome to the Crossroads, and I hope you make some connections here!
Deaf Pagan Crossroads 
I must admit, I was shocked and slightly horrified by the chocolate confession. I ran to my super-secret Harry and David truffle drawer to make sure this wasn’t like a crazy anti-chocolate virus spreading insidiously across the nation, but I still love chocolate, so I guess in spite of your announcement, everything’s okay.
I love jelly belly’s too. You didn’t specifically ask, but I bet I won’t be the only one to take this opportunity and share my favorite jelly belly flavor:
Pina Colada #1
followed by coconut, that bright red appley one, and of course…chocolate.
I’d better go make sure my truffles are still okay…
Don’t worry, I didn’t steal your truffles. 😉
I like most of the Jelly Belly flavors, but I would have to say, strangely enough, that the Buttered Popcorn and Caramel Corn are amongst my favorites – maybe because I can kill two birds with one stone and indulge in two of my favorite guilty snack pleasures at the same time.
I also like the Toasted Marshmellow (another guilty pleasure), the Caffe Latte, and the Peach.
Oh heck, it’s probably easier to tell you which one I don’t care for – that’s the Raspberry. I’ve just never been able to acquire a taste for anything raspberry. BLECH! 😦
Now that’s weird. I will only eat jelly beans if they are raspberry-flavored! All other flavors, yyyeccch. Yes there are chocolate-flavored jelly beans but they don’t TASTE like chocolate.
Right now I am trying to figure which to return to the store, the new computer or new monitor. It seems the monitor works, the computer works (it runs on) but hooking them up together, the monitor is all blank “no signal.” GRRR
jelly beans are good
I left my wand at home in the Bogs (my husband and I are temporarily living in PA while he’s on sabbatical for six months) or I’d wave it around for you in hopes that it would help with the writer’s block. It looks to me like the Jelly Bellies did the trick as I found this a very interesting read.
Schnucks! I lived in St. Louis for a year and shopped at a Shnucks.
And jelly beans! Would you believe they’re my favorite sweet, too? You know more about chocolate than I do. I don’t think I could’ve named that many brands of chocolate. Have you tried the Starburst jelly beans? They’re pretty yummy and not quite as expensive as the Sacred Jelly Belly Bean.
Thank you for your comments on my piece about the senses. I also appreciate the link. It was very interesting.
🙂
To be brutally honest, my knowledge of those chocolate brands has more to do with internet research than any personal expertise on the subject. Like I said, my life doesn’t revolve around them cacao beans.
My mother is a Saint Louis native, and I was born and raised in southern Indiana, where we have Schnucks as well…and they can also be found in Illinois, where I currently live. So I’m well familiar with shopping at these stores.
I’ve had Starbursts, but not sure I have ever tried their jelly beans. I’ll hafta give them a try. Something tells me they don’t have that variety of flavors, tho. I mean, who else makes a Buttered Popcorn or Toasted Marshmellow jelly bean?
I do have to admit that I’ve had to cut back on my Jelly Belly consumption, due to my current financial circumstances. Hopefully that luxurious/ludicrous offer comes in soon, or I may start going through withdrawal..and it won’t be pretty!
Your blog site is really nice, and your photography is beautiful! I hope to read more from you…
🙂
I dunno, it didn’t look as if you had writer’s block because you just wrote a nice post on one of your favorite things. I love reading about people’s favorite things, even if I do not share the same level of love for said thing. Not big on jelly beans – nor chocolate. I’d go for that creme brulee anytime though! 🙂 It grabs my goat when I go out and finally have a chance to have creme brulee and the only thing the place has is a trio of flavored brulees! When I get to eat one once or twice a year, I want it to be the good old but perfect vanilla and caramelized sugar brulee!