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On the Second Day of Dining…

“On the Second Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two turtle doves…”

I’ve always wondered why they called them turtle doves. Are they amphibian? Do they have webbed feet like ducks, or perhaps carry a shell around on their backs?

Upon doing a little research, I discovered that the “turtle” in the name actually has nothing to do with the reptile. Rather, it comes from the Latin turtur, which references the sound that these birds makes – sort of a deep, vibrating purring sound of “turrrr…turrr.” In fact, the scientific name for these birds is Streptopelia turtur.

But even though turtle doves are unrelated to turtles, it is this part of the name that keeps coming to mind as I consider my delicacies for the second day. Having feasted upon a game bird already yesterday, I’m not sure I am in the mood for yet another one today – although doves are hunted and eaten much like partridge or quail are. In fact, they were another bird that dear old Dad would go out after, accompanied by his faithful dog Dottie Sue. Because doves are a smaller bird, some folks like to de-breast them, then wrap the breasts with slices of bacon, skewer them much like shesh kabobs, and roast them on the grill. They make a nice little appetizer this way, but you would need quite a few doves for a main course, although they can be cooked whole if desired.

But like I was saying, I can’t seem to get away from the word turtle. It invokes yet another childhood memory for me… turtle soup.

If you grew up in southern Indiana like I did, you may have tried this regional recipe. Indeed, turtle soup seems to be a popular dish for church suppers, which is where I first tried it – in the basement of a country church with my Grandpa and Grandma Wolzenski, who were devout Catholics. I even have a memory of riding along a country road with my grandfather, only to have him bring his big ole cadillac to a screeching halt – all because he saw a snapping turtle along the side of the road.

Yup…those mean, nasty, ugly critters are a main ingredient in this dish, and in fact it’s often called Snapper Soup. Before y’all start saying “ewwwwww!” let me assure you that Snapper Soup is good eats. While it appears that areas of the United States have their own regional recipes (apparently turtle soup is also popular in the eastern part of Pennsylvania and in New Orleans and perhaps in other areas as well), the Hoosier version is tomato based and tastes much like a vegetable soup, with turtle meat substituting for the beef.

Finally…being from Evansville, Indiana I cannot complete a post about eating turtles without mentioning yet another childhood memory – the turtles from Libs Candy Store. A delightful concoction of chocolate, caramel, and pecans.

Anyone who grew up in Evansville remembers Libs… the candy store was an icon on Main Street back in the day. I even remember going there with my brownie scout troop to learn how they made all those yummy chocolates. The store was begun by brothers Bob and John Libs back in 1950. At one time they owned three shops and supplied 75 retailers. Every Evansville kid got a solid chocolate bunny from Libs in their Easter basket – myself included.

However, it was their turtles that I really loved. I’m not sure if they actually called them “turtles” – seems that name was trademarked by a California candy company from the San Francisco area. I think Libs actually called theirs “pecan flipovers”…but they basically were the same thing, and nowadays it appears everyone calls these things turtles. I just call them yummy. Who can resist that mixture of soft caramel and toasted chopped pecans, covered with milk chocolate? Absolute heaven. I can remember calling Mom from a college phone and begging her to send me a box or two, lest I go into turtle withdrawal. Of course they were all devoured within a week.

The original store closed in 2002. However, there are now two members of the Libs candy family continuing the tradition – John Libs’ son Mike has his own “lil ‘ol candy shop” on Evansville’s east side, while Mike’s cousin Stephen (son of Bob Libs) operates Stephen Libs Finer Chocolates, also based in Evansville. I won’t get into a discussion of whose turtles are better…suffice to say that now I have twice the opportunity to indulge in one of my favorite sweets.

So there ya go, folks. Soup, snack, and sweet. Munch on some grilled dove breast while savoring a bowl of snapper soup, and then finish off your meal with a chocolate caramel pecan turtle or two.

Can’t think of a better way to celebrate the day, myself.

On the First Day of Dining…

“On the First Day of Christmas my true love gave to me…a partridge in a pear tree.”

Of course, with such a verse, one of the first thing that comes into a foodie’s mind is a dish made with pears – poached pears, pear tart, pear salad, pear relish.

Now for the confession – I’m not crazy about pears. Peaches, apples, plums, pineapple…I love them all. But pears just have never appealed to me. I don’t care for their texture, or for their taste. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t like their shape, especially since my own body seems determined to copy it.

But it is a pear tree after all…not an apple tree, not a peach tree…not even a citrus like lemon or orange. A pear tree.

So a pear recipe it shall be. How about this one? I do have to confess the photograph looks quite yummy. Maybe it would be enough to change my opinion about the genus Pyrus.

This version of a French Pear Tart is obviously different from most tart recipes, in that the pears are left whole – they are merely peeled and poached before being inserted into a tart crust filled with an almond pastry cream. The crust is a shortbread dough, also known as a classic French Sable. Sables are a type of french butter cookie originating in Normandy, France.

Okay, Ocean – so much for the pears…what about the partridge? Hmmm…seems that I have put the dessert before the main course. Oops. Sorry about that, folks.

Whenever I look at pictures of that partridge, they remind me of quail – more specifically the Northern Bobwhite Quail. However, while they may look similar, Bobwhites and Partridges are not closely related and belong to different species – the Old World partridges referred to in the song are from the family Phasianidae while Bobwhites belong to the family Odontophoridae. But since I’m an American girl, I will go with my quail…especially since they remind me of my dearly departed father. Dad was a bird hunter, and kept English Setters for this purpose. Quail were his game bird of choice, and I grew up eating them on many an occasion.

The most common way Mom fixed them was simply to dredge the cleaned birds in flour and fry them up in her cast iron skillet. Mighty good eating, I must say. Partridge or quail can be fried, roasted, baked…fixed in a casserole or pie…or made into a soup. Basically they can be prepared like chicken. The meat is rather mild and not as gamey as it is with some other birds…I would compare it to eating a Rock Cornish Hen. If you’ve never eaten a game bird, give partridge (or quail) a try!

For more information and the recipe for making the French Pear Tart, check out this link: 

http://www.foodbuzz.com/blogs/716562-twd-french-pear-tart

Many of us are familiar with the holiday song “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” What one might not be so aware of is the fact that these twelve days actually do not occur before Christmas, but rather afterwards – they are the twelve days that lead from Christmas to Epiphany on January 6th. I discuss these twelve days in a previous post here at the Crossroads, aptly named The Twelve Days of Christmas.

But what about the song? What exactly do each of the verses mean?

In days of old, these twelve days were a time of feasting and festivity, and thus many of the “gifts” in the song might actually refer to dishes that one would dine upon during this time. In fact, a version of the song exists in the west of France with the sequence being “a good stuffing without bones, two breasts of veal, three joints of beef, four pigs’ trotters, five legs of mutton, six partridges with cabbage, seven spitted rabbits, eight plates of salad, nine dishes for a chapter of canons, ten full casks, eleven beautiful full-breasted maidens, and twelve musketeers with their swords.”

Originally, it is said that the “Five Golden Rings” of the fifth verse referred not to jewelry, but rather to the rings found around the necks of certain game birds, such as the ring-necked pheasant. Thus, the first seven rounds all refer to birds.

Trying to determine the actual meaning of the song might be a lesson in futility, as it has never been satisfactorily explained exactly what these verses truly mean. Most likely it’s simply a song of fun and jest, with no specific message or lesson to be learned – religious or otherwise.

In the past few years, I have attempted to interpret the song via various graphics, artwork, and photographs of the different verses. An example of such can be found here at the Crossroads, with the final verse displaying twelve photographs of the gifts: “On the Twelfth Day…”

This year I’ve decided to try something a bit different: an edible version of The Twelve Days of Christmas. Each day I will interpret the gift from the view of a foodie (of which I unabashedly claim to be one)…showing a photo of a delectable dish and where possible including a recipe.

I hope that you enjoy my culinary efforts, and to each and all of you, I bid a most joyous and delicious holiday season. Happy dining!

The Yule Series

My readers who have been following the Crossroads for awhile might recall that in the past, to celebrate the Winter Solstice, I did a month’s worth of posts entitled “The Yule Series” in which I shared information about various aspects of the season’s holiday celebrations – such topics as the meaning of solstice, the return of the sun, old woman winter, the boar’s head, celebrating the new year, etc. etc.

Rather than re-publishing all of these different posts , I am simply going to list them here with links, so that my readers can simply click on the titles and go to the various posts to learn more. I encourage all of my readers to go to these various posts to learn more about the holiday season. I will also try to post some new topics as my time permits.

Blessings,

~ Ocean

THE YULE SERIES

Studying the Winter Solstice

An introduction into the Winter Solstice and why we celebrate it

A Solstice Quiz

Test your knowledge about the Winter Solstice with this quiz!

The Meaning of Solstice

This post explains exactly what the Winter Solstice is and why we celebrate it

winter-solstice-20031

Chamber of the Sun

The welcoming back of the sun at an ancient site in Ireland

Helios, Sol and Saturnalia

The sun and its importance in the celebration of the Winter Solstice

Old Woman Winter

Learning about the Cailleach… the deity who personifies this time of year

Turning Towards the Morning

A beautiful song by Gordon Bok which expresses the meaning of this time of year

mabon-and-modron

The Sun In the Greenwood

(to be read on December 21st!)

A ritual for the Winter Solstice

The Twelve Days of Christmas

(to be read on December 26!)

An introduction to the true meaning of the twelve days of Christmas

The First Four Days

(to be read from December 26th – December 29th)

A study of the first four days of the Twelve Days of Christmas

December 30th

(to be read on December 30th!)

This posts describes the ancient custom of “bringing in the boar”…

Serving Your Own Boar’s Head

(to be read on December 30th as well!)

How to bring in the boar if you don’t feel like beheading a pig

December 31st

(to be read on December 31st!)t

Traditions of celebrating New Year’s Eve

Stonehaven Fireball Festival

to be read on December 31st!)

How New Year’s Eve is celebrated in one village in Scotland

New Year’s Eve Customs

(to be read on December 31st!)

Rituals and folk customs for New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Day

(to be read on January 1st!)

Discussing the history of New Year’s Day

New Year’s Divination

(to be read on January 1st also!)

Divining the future on New Year’s Day

Snow Day

(to be read on January 2nd!)

Celebrating the importance of snow for the Yule season

yew

The Little Bird and the Evergreens

(to be read the first week of January)

A story about the origin of the evergreen tree

The Twelfth Night

(to be read on January 5th – the evening before Epiphany)

Discussing the customs of the Twelfth Night)

Twelfth Night Recipes

(also to be read on January 5th)

How to make your own Twelfth night cakes for celebrating Epiphany

To continue to the celebration of this holiday season, I have dusted off yet another post from the past…here is another ritual, this one compliments of John and Caitlin Matthews, taken from their book “The Winter Solstice.” Merry reading, and a joyous holiday to all of the Friends of the Crossroads! 

Come, my readers… and join me here in the Crossroads as we celebrate the Winter Solstice. Come pull up a chair and warm yourself by the fire as we prepare to be visited by the various characters who represent the rich and glorious medley that is Midwinter.

THE SUN IN THE GREENWOOD

written by

John and Caitlin Matthews

 

 

Saint Nicholas:

We are met here in the still pint of the turning year, in a space between the worlds, at the heart of the greenwood, where the Midwinter sun reigns in splendor, to celebrate the Solstice mysteries. I hold in my hands a bag of good things, the largesse of the year, gifts for the giving, this Solstice tide.

Saint Lucy:

We welcome all who come here with glad hearts to celebrate the passing of the old year and the birth of the new, the turning of the wheel one notch further, the re-enactment of the age-old mystery of the sun in the greenwood, the eternal battle for the year’s renewal. I carry upon my head the crown of candles, to crown your endeavors with the Midwinter light.

Saint Thomas:

We call upon all here present this day to enter the time before time, when we shared the earth with gods and spirits and spoke the languages of bird and beast, when we danced on the greensward and sang the songs of creation and remembering. I hold the spear that finds the deepest darkness and releases the living light of wisdom.

Saint Stephen:

Back through the years, across the bridge of time, we call out to the rulers of the four courts of Winter to come forth and to join us in this celebration. Come, bright lords and ladies; creatures of fur and feather, horn and hide; come bird and beast, come sun and star; come rainbow and come green dancing tree and bright shining flower. I carry away the stone of all that burdens your hearts this Wintertime, that you may be able to receive the gift of joy.

The Four Saints Together:

Here at the gateway of the year, We strive to make good cheer. In our revels shall joy abound, And sorrow be cast underground.

Saint Lucy:

yew.jpg Who stands in the East, in the Court of the Yew?

The Wren

The yew, that most ancient of trees, stands guard in the eastern quarter. I am the wren, the king of all birds, who dies every year but comes back again, who flies so high that I can see all seekers on the path of the heart’s wisdom.

Modron:

Modron am I, also called by some the mother of all living. I sought my son, taken from me when scarcely three nights old, throughout the length and breadth of the land. Now I seek the bright blessing of the newborn sun, when all that is immanent is seeded in the heart and in the head, and the promise of the old year bears fruit at last. I am the mother who welcomes all her children to her hearth and who teaches them the wisdom of the heart.

Mabon:

Mabon am I, whom my mother sought and whom heroes and creatures, working together, found and set free. I am the young sun who rises with the morning and who shines down my light through the new day. At night I journey in other lands, leaving my task to my cousin the moon. I am the watcher at the gates of dawn, who guides and guards the way of those who seek the greater light, who look to the new sun for inspiration and courage. Now I represent the New Year, whose bright rays reach out to all created things in the still moment between the old year and the new.

Saint Thomas:

givy.jpg Who stands in the South in the Court of Ivy?

The Horse:

The ivy that hangs by the door opens the way between the worlds. I am the horse who can carry you across the threshold and into the Otherworld itself. Worshipped for my speed and grace, I have been with you from the oldest time. Remembered as the Mari Llwyd, my riddles challenge all who seek the wisdom of the ancient ways. I call upon the Lord and Lady of this court to name themselves.

Green Lady:

The Green Lady am I, queen of the wildwood and of all growing things. I stand in the place of the star, where the light rises to illuminate those who seek the wisdom of the bright ones who sing all together to welcome in the newborn year. In my train come all those who wander the pathless ways of the forest and who seek the strength of the earth. I challenge all comers to face their hidden fears and go beyond them.

The Green Knight

I am the Green Knight, the lord of the beasts, the terrible challenger who came to the court of King Arthur on Christmas Eve to bring a draft of Winter into that place. Of all who seek the way through the woods, I ask that they acknowledge the wisdom of the animals, and that if they answer my challenge they should do so in the spirit of the errant knight, who goes in search of adventure and who expects nothing save what fate brings. I challenge all who walk this path to meet with me in the green chapel, and there discover what they will.

Saint Stephen:

xmas-mistletoe.jpg Who stands in the West in the Court of Mistletoe?

The Deer:

Honored by the druids, the mistletoe, oldest of the sacred plants, offers the deep dreaming way into the waters of the west. The deer am I, who runs beside Herne the Hunter at the rising of the morn. My antlers brush the stars and my cloven hooves have walked the roadways of the Underworld from the start of time. My cousins, the reindeer, draw the sleigh of the old wise man Santa Claus.

Elen:

Elen of the ways I am named. I keep the paths between the many worlds and wind the strands of time and place around the souls of those who travel on these ancient tracks. Those who seek the wisdom of the spirit, who are drawn thither by their dreams, must first encounter me at the gates of Solstice. Then, if they pass the tests I set before them, they may proceed, deeper and yet deeper into the mystery of the Winter harvest.

Herne:

Herne the Hunter am I. I have run through the deepest and darkest places in the forest from the beginning of time, and I have danced in the morning and the evening on this old green earth. My antlers are my living crown, and my shining gaze can pierce the depths of the night and the heart of thought. When my horn is blown, all the creatures of the earth answer and gather close by my feet. To all who venture in the court of mistletoe I offer this challenge: come, dance with me and run with me, and feel the thunder of the blood in your heart and in your head.

Saint Nicholas:

holly_leaf_reduced.jpgWho stands in the North, in the Court of Holly?

The Bear:

Holly bears the berry, red as any blood, and thorns to pierce the souls of men who seek the Winter mystery, that runs deep as time itself. I am bear. I have walked the uplands and the heartlands of this earth since time immemorial, and I know the hearts of men as well as I know my own. In the caves of time and space I lie and dream, and in my dreams I hear the song of Winter. Ice and snow wrap up the earth in bands of iron; yet beneath beats the steady heart of creation, just as it beats in the hearts of all who set forth in search of the solstice revels. I call upon the Lady and Lord of this court to name themselves.

Mother Carey:

Mother Carey am I, also known as Holle, she who keeps the old stories you love to tell. When I shake my pillow the snow falls, and I ride the wild winds of change and forgetting. I can turn your dreams inside out or upside down, or gather you under the wings of my stormy petrel and send you forth in search of fresh wisdom along the wind’s keen ridge. Whenever you see or hear me you will know that wonder is near – the wonder of Winter’s darkness and the light it hides inside.

Father Christmas:

As many names have I had as months in the year: Old Saint Nick, Sinta Claus, Old Sir Christmas, Woden, Saint Nicholas… but mostly I am known simply as Santa. I first climbed the great tree when mankind slept in caves, bringing back gifts from the Otherworld. Later I became the bringer of jollity, the bearer of the wassail bowl, the leader of the merry dance from Christmas Day to Twelfth Night. You all know me, and in your hearts you still believe. Remember, when you see me next I’ll have a blessing for each of you, and a gift for the new year to be.

The Saints:

Now the Solstice Courts are established.

Saint Lucy:

The sun rises in the Court of Yew.

Saint Thomas:

The star shines over the Court of Ivy.

Saint Stephen:

The moon shines over the Court of Mistletoe.

Saint Nicholas:

The earth abides in the Court of Holly.

Everyone:

The Courts of the Greenwood are established. Let the Winter Games begin!

Set your teeth the wind to face. Beat the snow down, trod the frost,

All is gained when all is lost!

Father Christmas:

I reach into my sack – a sack that has no bottom and holds gifts for everyone – and pull forth a story… a jest that tells of Midwinter and the mystery of the turning year.

Now enter the Mummers, who perform their play and their traditional Morris Dance in celebration of the season. At the end they sing their closing song to the Spirits of Solstice at the Four Courts.

Father Christmas:

We have heard the story, seen the dance, sung the song! Now is the time for gifting. Gifts I have for everyone, and from them everyone shall learn and grow. But the greatest gift of all is the gift of the old year to the new, the gift of peace and the mystery of true giving. Let us now celebrate and honor the newborn year… and let some of us reveal ourselves in other guises!

The Wren:

In the east the year is young. It is known as the Mabon, the mother’s own dear son. Let all who would, come forward. There are gifts to be given and blessings to share.

While Modron and her son Mabon remain sitting, the representatives from the other courts come forward, to offer up their gifts to the young sun. Gifts include sprigs of holly, ivy, and mistletoe – the three sacred plants of Yule – each a token of the power of the green earth soon to be reborn.

Father Christmas:

Thus is the New Year honored. But the gifting is not yet done. All who have come on this long road to the turning of the year shall receive a gift and a blessing. First the blessing. Let all who would, come now to the Mabon and the Modron.

All the participants of this ritual, and all the readers of Deaf Pagan Crossroads, come forward one by one and approach the Mother and the Son to receive a blessing for the new year.

mabon-and-modron.jpg

Modron and Mabon:

May all who come here in the spirit of peace and goodwill find life, love, and laughter for the new year. Blessings to all here at the Crossroads.

Father Christmas:

You have received the gifts of the Mabon and the Modron. Now it is time to receive a gift from me!

Father Christmas proceeds to give out gifts to all the Crossroads readers.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE A COMMENT AND TELL US WHAT GIFT YOU RECEIVED FROM FATHER CHRISTMAS, IF YOU SO DESIRE!

Mother Carey:

Good people all, let us now complete our celebration of the Solstice with merriment and the passing of the Wassail Bowl!

Father Christmas and Mother Carey bring forth the Wassail Bowl, a large punchbowl filled with wassail, a delicious alcoholic drink served at the Solstice. The Solstice Spirits from the Four Courts come forward and bless the bowl, and then it is ladled into cups and passed around to all of the readers to enjoy.

Father Christmas:

I bid each and every one of you to all depart in merriment and joy! May the New Year bring you all your hopes and wishes, and may King Sinta Claus bring you all you desire on Christmas Day in the morning! Wassail! Wassail! Noel! A blessing to you and yours!

YULETIDE BLESSINGS ON THE WINTER SOLSTICE

AND

SEASON’S GREETINGS TO ALL

A Winter Solstice Ritual

winter-trees-on-hill

photo by johnivara

SpiritWolf steps forward and in voice and sign calls all the members to the Circle:

The wheel of the year turns on taking us from season to season one to the next. Life and time moving endlessly, it is as it will be, without beginning or end. And so it has brought us here to this place on this blessed Yule to celebrate the rebirth of the sun. We come to praise the Goddess and the God, to see the reign of the Kings change and to celebrate the Sun’s return.

Wolf Wind steps to the center of the circle, facing east. He is dressed in a robe of white, embroidered with wolves among twining holly and ivy against the white fabric background. He holds a long wooden pole, on the top is set a thick, lighted candle within an enclosed lantern of Oriental design. From the pole hang several items from the Shambala Buddhist tradition, celebrating Children’s Day – colored cloth ribbons, a bowl of saffron scented water, a small bowl/basket filled with fruits and sweets, chimes and small bells, and several small mirrors.

Wolf Wind walks to the east and begins his walk sunwise. He speaks as he goes, with an interpreter following him to translate his words into American Sign Language:

Ancient times we once again attend, within the circle where life portends. Walk the ancient path of old; ancestors watch the ceasing of movement from Nymia (sun) and Dawa (moon), the axis mundi of the soul. Let none pass the borders here, as shadow and light converge, save the witness of those gathered. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end.

Wolf Wind completes the circle 2 two more times and returns to the center of the circle, planting the pole into the earth – after which he returns to his place in the circle.

Crystal Dolphin steps forward and says,

Guardians of the Watchtowers of the East and the elements of Air,
I do summon and call thee up to protect us in our rite.
I call upon your wisdom, summon your energy and love
to witness this celebration of renewal, blessings of Yule and the rebirth of the Sun.

Crystal lights the yellow candle of the East, and returns to her place in the circle.

yellow-candle

Kim steps forward walking to the South. Signing as an interpreter voices for her, she begins:

I call upon the spirits of Fire.

We invite you to join us this night for the rebirth of the Sun.

Bring to our circle this night the Fire of protection, faith, confidence, courage, and love.

We honor all the forms of the element of fire.

Hail and Welcome.

Kim steps forward to the red candle and lights it, then returns to the circle.

red-candle

Ocean steps forward. She is wearing the beautiful medieval-type green velvet dress she bought at the Renaissance Festival last year. Walking to the Western Corner, she faces outwards, and closing her eyes, stretches her arms out to the sky, silently calling upon the Spirits. Then turning to face the circle, in both sign and voice she invokes the West:

I call upon the Goddess Yemaya

Mother Ocean

Goddess of the Sea…

She from whose womb

holds the waters from which spring all Life.

Come and join us here in our circle,

Come, for we honor you on this Solstice Night

as we do all Mothers.

Let Thy waters wash over us, cleanse us, and heal us…

May your waves of power and grace

Rock us deep in your love.

Hail and welcome.

Ocean then lights a blue candle in honor of Yemaya and all Spirits of Water, and returns to her place in the circle.

blue-candle

As Willow approaches the North quarter station, she removes a clay pendant necklace with leather cord, and places it at the North quarter. She says with voice and sign:

Guardians of the Watchtowers of the North and the elements of Earth,
I do summon, stir, and call thee up to protect us in our rite.
I call upon your wisdom, summon your energy and love
to witness this celebration of renewal, blessings of Yule and union of spirit.

Willow lights the green candle of the Earth, and returns to her place in the circle.

green-candle

D’Angel steps in front of the altar, wearing a green robe with holly decorations on the robe… She holds her arms out in goddess position and signs

Ever loving Lady, we humbly ask for your presence in our circle. Come forth and help us celebrate this sacred Sabbat. Hail and welcome.

D’Angel lights the silver Goddess candle and then steps back.

WyndSinger advances to the altar. He is dressed in a flowing yellow robe trimmed in (fake) fur, his silver-white hair streaming down his back. The staff he carries is placed into the ground, and signing as he speaks, he invokes the God:

We invoke Thee, antlered Ancient One,

both Lord and Victim of the Winter’s hunt;

giver of Thy flesh for the love of our lives,

in this, Thy season of Sacrifice.

We invoke Thee, shape-shifting Solstice Stag,

Thy hoof prints brushed away by driven snow

as Thou guardest the pathways to the Invisible.

Winter-reigning forest-phantom,

be here among us as we celebrate

this turning of the Solar Wheel!

WyndSinger lights the gold God candle, and then steps back.

Hawk steps forward, and the interpreter signs as he shares the wisdom of Midwinter:

Tonight we celebrate the Sabbat of Yule, also known as the Winter Solstice, or Midwinter. This is both one of the oldest of the Sabbats, and also one of the youngest. Oldest in that ancient civilizations celebrated the solstice and the return of the sun thousands of years ago…youngest in that many of those ancient customs have translated themselves over the years to the more modern traditions of the holiday season we now know as Christmas.

The word solstice comes from the Latin sol stetit, which translates into “sun stands still,” a reference to the fact that for several days in December (and also in June), the sun appears to rise and set at more or less the same point on the horizon, appearing to stand still in the sky. These solstices divide the year into two – a Dark Half and a Light Half…six months of waxing sun and six months of waning sun. The Winter Solstice marks the return of the Sun, and thus the beginning of the Light Half of the year. As such, it was of tremendous importance to ancient peoples, governing the round of their lives, and serving as an anchor point in the natural as well as agricultural and pastoral year.

The Winter Solstice has always been a time of celebration – whether it be the return of the sun, the promise of evergreen boughs, or the birthday of the Midwinter King. This Child of Wonder has been celebrated in so many ways with so many names, throughout an extended period of time, but regardless of the culture or time period, always seems to share some similar characteristics. A surprising number of the gods of the ancient classic world maintained nativity stories which would later influence the development of that story best known and celebrated today – the birth of the baby Jesus. Amongst those deities are Tammuz (Mesopotamia), Attis (Asia Minor), Apollo (Greece), Mithras (Rome), Baal (Palestine), and Osirus and Horus (Egypt).

In modern times, Yule has come to be indissolubly linked with the festival of Christmas, and the celebration of the birth of Christ. The myths of this festival have become so deeply imbedded in our own culture that we now take many of the customs of the season for granted, and no longer stop to ask ourselves why we in fact do decorate a fir tree at this time, or place green boughs and candles in our homes, or erect a nativity scene, or have our pictures taken with Santa Claus. Yet, as we begin to consider the alternative history of Christmas, we come to recognize that many of these traditions have a far deeper meaning that we originally thought. There’s the story of the wondrous birth, as explained above. The Christmas Tree began life as the Solstice Evergreen, being adapted in medieval and Victorian times to the tinsel-decked image of today. Even the ancient carol “The Holly and the Ivy” comes from a pre-Christian age when the Lord and the Lady of the Greenwood were honored by the hanging of green garlands from ridge poles of houses. Indeed…holly and ivy, along with mistletoe, make up the three sacred plants of Yule…according to the Celtic Druids. And that good old character known as Santa Claus actually derives from the ancient shamans who were the first priests and magicians of the human race. The very notion of a gift giver descending from a high place bearing gifts can be traced back to the shaman’s habit of climbing up the world tree to reach the otherworld, and then climbing back down with the gifts of prophecy and wisdom to give to the rest of us.

Yet, regardless of how one chooses to celebrate this time of the year, or by which name…the Winter Solstice has been celebrated in different places and at different times throughout history; even today we can still acknowledge it in our own individual ways.

winter-sunrise2

Edain walks to the Center of the circle. Speaking with an interpreter signing, she says:

For half the year, day by day the world has grown darker.

For half the year night by night, the dark has grown longer.

Tonight that ends, the wheel turns, our land returns to light.

Hark the call, listen well the Sun is reborn tonight.

Edain picks up a beautiful yellow, orange and red Sun Candle and steps to the south, lighting it from the flame of Fire. She then returns the candle to its place on the altar.

Edain continues:

The darkness was never complete… a spark was always waiting.

Waiting to return again and turn again, ever growing stronger.

The light will come back, the cold will recede and again we will dance in the warmth.

The wheel turns darkness to light and back again; Ever have we known this and turned with it.

The group responds: The wheel is turning, the light is returning.

Edain returns to her place in the circle.

Susan steps forward, lights a white candle on the altar and says

In the greatest darkness

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Brian steps forward and lights a white candle on the altar, saying

Out of Winter’s cold

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Robin steps forward and lights a white candle on the altar, saying

From our deepest fears

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

C.N. Katz steps forward and lights a white candle on the altar, saying

When we most despair

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Queen Alpo steps forward and lights a white candle on the altar, saying

When animals sleep and hide

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Charlie steps forward and lights a white candle on the altar, saying

When the river is frozen

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Rose steps forward and lights a white candle on the altar, saying

When the ground is hard

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Kevin steps forward, lights a white candle on the altar, saying

When hope is gone

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Birch steps forward and lighting a candle says

When times are hard

The group responds: The Sun is reborn! The wheel is turning, the light is returning!

Carl steps forward to the altar and lights a candle, saying

The shadows are fleeing

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Muirin steps forward and lighting another candle she says

Warmth comes again

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

DaveBear steps forward…lighting another candle he says

Light is returning

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Sunny steps forward to the altar, lights a candle and says

Summer will come once more

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Moonstorm steps forward and lighting another candle he says

Plants will grow again

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Gaylen Eagle steps forward to the altar and lighting a candle she says

Animals will be seen once more

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Fyre Draconis steps forward and lighting another candle he says

Life will continue

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

MoonRose steps forward, lights a white candle and says

Green will come again

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Mr. Sandman steps forward and lighting the final white candle he says

Death will not be forever

The group responds: The Sun is reborn!

Edain steps forward once again, saying:

The Sun is back, He is born again. Let us celebrate and rejoice. Waes-Hail ! Be Whole!

She returns to the circle.

WyndSinger steps up to the altar, extinguishing the gold God candle. He signs as he speaks:

O Horned Lord of Winter’s Darkness,

Companion of the Leprous White Lady;

we give Thee thanks,

for Thou teachest us well of inner Mysteries

through the cold,

the dark,

and the foreboding spell of Winter,

even as we rejoice in Solstice joy!

Blessed Be,

O High Holy Lord!

WyndSinger returns to his place in the circle.

D’Angel steps in, she stands in goddess position and then signs

Oh wondrous Goddess, we thank you for your presence tonight. Go if you must, stay if you want. Hail and farewell!

D’Angel snuffs out the silver Goddess candle and then steps back to her place in the circle.

Willow steps up to the Northern Corner, picks up the necklace and puts it on, then says with voice and sign:

Guardians of the Watchtowers of the North and the elements of Earth,
Spirits and Creatures of the Earth,
Our thanks and blessings accompany you
As you return in peace to your realm.
Go if you must; stay if you will – Hail and Farewell!

After snuffing out the Earth candle, she returns to the circle.

Ocean steps forward and walks to the Western Corner. Addressing the circle, she thanks the Spirits of Water in both sign and voice:

Mother Ocean

with your waves of power and grace

You have rocked us deep in your love,

just as you have rocked the new Child of Wonder

born of the waters of Thy womb.

Goddess Yemaya

We thank you for your presence here

as we celebrated this Solstice Night.

We honor thee..

just as we honor your cleansing, healing waters.

Stay if Thy will,

Go if Thy must.

As we look to the dawning of a new year,

we bid you Hail and Farewell.

With her fingers Ocean snuffs out the candle, and then returns to her place in the circle.

Kim faces the south quarter and signs:

We thank all of the spirits of Fire for your presence here tonight.

We thank you for your protection, and the faith, confidence, courage, and love you share with us..

We honor all the forms of the element of fire.

We have seen the rebirth of the sun and look forward to his growth and strength.

Stay if you will, Leave if you must.

She steps forward and gently pinches out the candle and returns to the circle.

Crystal Dolphin steps to the yellow candle in the Eastern quarter:

Guardians of the Watchtowers of the East and the elements of Air,
Spirits and Creatures of the Air,
Our thanks and blessings accompany you
As you return in peace to your realm.
Go if you must; stay if you will – Hail and Farewell!

Crystal snuffs out the candle and returns to the circle.

Wolf Wind steps forward saying:

The circle is open, but unbroken! With Love and Trust, may the God and Goddess be forever in our hearts. Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.

The Friends of the Crossroads exit the ritual space, leaving the colorful Sun candle and the white candles to continue burning safely in their candleholders, in celebration of the Winter Solstice and the return of the Sun.

solstice-altar


For another Deaf Pagan Crossroads Winter Solstice ritual,

check out “The Sun In the Greenwood”

http://deafpagancrossroads.com/2007/12/21/the-yule-series-the-sun-in-the-greenwood/


Because this post seems to be quite popular with my statistics right now, I thought I would copy it and bring it back for this year as a special Solstice treat for the Friends of the Crossroads. Enjoy it, and may you have a blessed Winter Solstice!

Any discussion of the Winter Solstice and holly from a Pagan perspective would most likely include at least a mention of the battle between the Holly King and the Oak King. For a number of Pagan traditions, this battle represents a central theme surrounding the solstices – the concept of light and dark; of birth, death, and rebirth.

Actually, one could consider it two themes, which coincide rather dramatically at the Winter Solstice. These two themes focus on the role which the God-figure plays throughout the year, and especially during the changing of the seasons.

To understand these themes, we must first recognize the two distinct concepts which merged together to create the modern-day Wheel of the Year : the solar concept and the natural-fertility concept. The solar concept, as its name implies, is sun-based… we can observe it on a daily basis as we watch the sun rise and set, and view the dominance of the Sun God during the solstices and equinoxes. He dies and is reborn at the Winter Solstice (Yule), begins his maturity at the Spring Equinox (Ostara) when he impregnates the Earth Goddess, peaks in a blaze of glory at the Summer Solstice (Litha), and begins to wane in his power around the Fall Equinox (Mabon).

On the other hand, the natural-fertility concept is more complex, involving two God-figures: the God of the Waxing Year and the God of the Waning Year. The Waxing God is also known as the Oak King, and the Waning God as the Holly King. Although rivals, they are also considered to be twins – each other’s “other self,” the light and dark aspects of the male deity. By “light and dark” we are not referring to good vs. evil. Rather, they refer to the two phases of the yearly cycle… that light time when the Sun-God in his Oak King aspect is growing in his fertile power, the days get longer, and we can view the rich abundance of the earth; as opposed to the darker half when He as the Holly King is losing his power, the days grow shorter as the night takes over, and the earth lies fallow and still. The twins compete with each other for the favor of the Earth Goddess; each serves as her child, consort and lover during his half-year reign – he mates with her, dies in her arms, and is then born of her to carry on the never-ending cycle.

This relationship is particularly born out at the Solstices, when the Holly King and the Oak King do battle with one another, and one of them must then die, that the other may reign in his place.

Thus does Yule not only mark the death and rebirth of the Sun-God; it also marks the vanquishing of the Holly King, God of the Waning Year, by the Oak King, God of the Waxing Year. The Goddess, who was Death-in-Life at the Summer Solstice, now becomes Life-in-Death at the Winter Solstice – even though she is the queen of the cold darkness, she also the Great Mother who gives birth to a child of promise, who brings back light and warmth to the earth.

In some Pagan traditions, the battle of the kings is acted out during the Sabbat rituals celebrating Yule (the Winter Solstice, also known as Midwinter) and Litha (the Summer Solstice, also known as Midsummer). Two individuals (usually men) are selected to portray the Holly King and the Oak King. Oftentimes the High Priestess will place a crown of corresponding leaves upon their heads before they commence with their mock duel.

At Yule, the Oak King slays his brother, and either himself or the High Priest may say something along the lines of the following:

Now at the depth of winter is the waning of the year over, and the reign of the Holly King is finished. The sun is reborn, and the waxing year begins anew. My brother (the Holly King) is now dead, and has left us to rest in Caer Arianrhod, the Castle of the Silver Wheel, until the Summer Solstice when he shall return to rule again. May the Wheel of the Year continue to turn, the seasons continue to change, and the sun always be with us. So Mote It Be!

Oak King defeating Holly King

“Rabble at Tree Dressing” Yuletide Mumming Play

West Sussex, England

Some may be confused that at a time when our halls are decked with holly, we are actually celebrating the death of the Holly King, rather than his birth. However, one should think of those holly wreaths as mourning wreaths, and remember the whole theme and the cycles: even though in the middle of July it may seem difficult to imagine that that it’s the waning year, we must recall that the longest day actually took place on June 21st; consequently the days get shorter and by December 21st much of the world lies cold and barren. By the same token, it might be hard to think of the middle of February as being the waxing year, but we have to remember that the days are growing longer and Spring is just around the corner.

Light and dark, life and death. A time to grow and expand, and a time to withdraw and rest. This is the lesson of the two kings, the twin brothers. As we celebrate the holiday season, let us not forget the presence of the Holly King and the Oak King in our lives, and remember that in the midst of the struggles we must all occasionally endure, comes the opportunity to learn and discover new strengths and new possibilities. With the death of the Holly King at the Winter Solstice, we begin a new waxing year and a chance at new growth.

Last October, I was honored to be able to join Janet Farrar and Gavin Bone in celebrating the Sabbat of Samhain at the Hill of Ward in County Meath, Ireland. Both Janet and Gavin have played a key role in resurrecting the ancient rites of lighting the Samhain bonfires at this sacred site.

The Wheel of the Year turns on. This week I will be celebrating another Sabbat, as we prepare to welcome back the sun at Yule, also known as the Winter Solstice. I won’t be in Ireland this time, but my thoughts will be of Eire as I light the candles on my altar…and especially of another sacred site that plays an important role at this time of the year.

Many people are familiar with the famous solstice celebrations that take place at Stonehenge, near Salisbury in southern England. However, there is another solstice site that predates Stonehenge and is even older than the Great Pyramid in Egypt.

That site is Newgrange, one of several passage tombs to be found in the Brú na Bóinne complex on the banks of the River Boyne, also in County Meath, Ireland. A popular tourist site, Newgrange is considered one of the most important megalithic structures in Europe.

During my trip to Ireland (a birthday present to myself), I had the pleasure of visiting Newgrange along with Gavin and my travel companion, fellow Deaf Pagan D’Angel. Together we learned about the history of Newgrange; touched the various carvings on the stones which surround the tomb; and then walked sixty feet along the narrow passageway to stand in the main chamber in the center of the mound itself.

One of the key aspects of Newgrange is its alignment with the rising sun at the time of the Winter Solstice. For approximately seventeen minutes on the morning of the solstice, the sun shines in through a special window directly above the main entrance to the tomb, known as a “roofbox.” The rays of the sun travel along the passageway into the main chamber itself, illuminating it with light. Although solar alignments are not uncommon with passage tombs (indeed, we visited other sites with such alignments), Newgrange is unique in that it is one of only a handful of tombs that has such a roofbox. The alignment of the chamber to the rising solstice sun is considered to be too precise to occur merely by circumstance, suggesting that the seasonal solar rhythms were of great importance to the ancient peoples of this area.

I first wrote of Newgrange and the Winter Solstice here at the Crossroads during my Yule Series four years ago, in “Chamber of the Sun.”  Even then I was fascinated by this site, and I stared intensely at the various photographs which depicted the tomb, the ancient stones and their carvings, and the rays of the sun entering the chamber. Such pictures only fueled my determination to some day stand inside this chamber and view those carvings for myself.

Ocean and D’Angel in front of the entrance stone to Newgrange. Directly above our heads can be seen the roofbox, through which the winter solstice sun shines down the passageway and into the main chamber of the tomb.

(photograph by Gavin Bone) 

To actually achieve this goal was an experience I will cherish for the rest of my life. There is a special energy at Newgrange…it is hard not to feel its awesome power as you touch the carvings on the stones which surround the tomb. To think that these carvings were done thousands of years ago –  before the time of Christ or even of Moses and the Exodus. What stories could they share? What wisdom do they possess? These ancient stones called out to me, beckoning me to touch them…and I found it impossible to resist.

Ocean touching the carvings on a stone at Newgrange

(photograph by Gavin Bone)

But the most memorable event of my visit to Newgrange occurred within the main chamber. After leading us into the chamber itself and explaining a bit about it, our tour guide then treated us to a re-enactment of the solstice sun itself. First all of the lights inside the tomb are turned off, and we stand silently in the pitch blackness, unable to see anything. It is a very solemn moment as I compare this to the darkness of the midst of winter; the darkness of the womb of the Goddess. In this moment I can face my deepest fears and find my own personal power.

And then it comes…with a flick of a switch, a light bulb simulating the sun illuminates the passageway, and we can all experience a simulation of the winter solstice phenomenon itself. As I watched the light making its way into the chamber, I journeyed back to those ancient times, and imagined what awesomeness must have greeted the priests as they stood in this very same spot on Solstice morning, witnessing the magick and the mystery of this event.

Solstice Sun at Newgrange – 2008

(photograph by Cyril Byrne, courtesy of The Irish Times) 

So popular is this highlight of the tour, that a lottery is held every year for a group of lucky individuals to win tickets to experience the actual event itself. During the week of the Winter Solstice (December 18th – December 22rd), a group of lottery winners enter the tomb shortly before sunrise, and have the opportunity to actually experience the sun coming in through the roofbox. This year over 31,000 people entered the lottery…only fifty names were drawn. Each of those fifty lucky winners may bring a guest with them – thus there are ten lottery winners and their guests in the chamber every morning for five days. Unfortunately, one cannot always be guaranteed of a beautiful illumination – it all depends on the weather. Some years the actual Solstice phenomenon could not be witnessed due to clouds blocking the sun, although usually there will be at least one successful illumination during solstice week.

The first group of Newgrange Solstice visitors 2011 welcomed the sun on Sunday, December 18th and were greeted with a beautiful sunrise that broke through a low cloud just in time for the group to view the illumination of the chamber around 9:00 a.m. Irish Time. You can view pictures of such here:

for more pictures, check out the site at http://www.newgrange.com/winter-solstice-2011.htm

You can even view a webcast of the actual Winter Solstice sunrise at Newgrange via a live feed broadcast by Heritage Ireland on December 21st. This broadcast will start around 8:30 a.m. Irish Time – check the time charts to determine what time this would be for your area, as Ireland is five hours ahead of me here in the Eastern Time Zone, meaning that I would have to get up at 3:30 in the morning. Also be aware that due to the large number of expected viewers (over 300,000) there may be some technical difficulties with accessing the site. However, if you want to give it a try, here is a link for more information:

http://www.newgrange.com/webcast.htm

Finally, for those wishing to get a sense of what it feels like to actually stand in the chamber and see the light of illumination, here is a video put together of the Winter Solstice of 2007:

Perhaps one year I will get lucky and be one of those lottery winners standing in the chamber one December morning. But even if that does not happen, I will always cherish my visit to Newgrange, and the journey my own spirit took…through darkness and light, through space and time. I can close my eyes and feel the texture of the stone beneath my hands, my fingertips tracing the lines of ancient carvings.

And it is in this moment that I wish all of you a most blessed Winter Solstice, and a joyous holiday season.

Turning Towards the Morning

“Turning Towards the Morning”

by Gordon Bok

(copyright 1975 by Gordon Bok)

red-bench-at-winter.jpg

When the deer has bedded down

And the bear has gone to ground

And the northern goose has wandered off

to warmer bay and sound,

It’s so easy in the cold to feel

the darkness of the year

And the heart is growing lonely for the morning

winter-waters.jpg

Oh my Joanie don’t you know

That the stars are swinging low

And the seas are rolling easy

Just as they did so long ago

If I had a thing to give you

I would tell you one more time

That the world is always turning

Towards the morning

winter-bridge.jpg

Now November’s growing thin

And December’s coming home

You’ll be thinking of the season

And the sad things that you’ve seen

And you hear that old wind walking

Hear her singing high and thin

You could swear she’s out there singing

of your sorrow

weeds-in-snow.jpg

Oh my Joanie, don’t you know

That the stars are swinging low

And the seas are rolling easy

Just as they did so long ago

If I had a thing to give you

I would tell you one more time

That the heart is always turning

Towards the morning

darkness.jpg

When the darkness falls around you

And the North Wind comes to blow

And you hear her call your name out

As she walks the brittle snow

That old wind don’t mean you trouble

She don’t care or even know

She’s just walking through the darkness

Towards the morning

winter-trees.jpg

Oh my Joanie, don’t you know

That the stars are swinging low

And the seas are rolling easy

Just as they did so long ago

If I had a thing to give you

I would tell you one more time

That the world is always turning

Towards the morning

winter-flowers.jpg

It’s a pity we don’t know

What the little flowers know

They can’t face the cold December

They can’t take the wind and snow

They put all their glories behind them

Bow their heads and let it go

But you know they’ll be there shining

In the morning

magickal-winter-night.jpg

Now, my Joanie don’t you know

That the days are rolling slow

And the winter’s walking easy

Just as she did so long ago

And if that wind would come and ask you

Why my Joanie’s weeping so

Won’t you tell her that you’re weeping

For the morning

winter-tulip.jpg

For the heart is always turning

towards the morning……

Wishing all of my Deaf Pagan Crossroads readers

A Most Joyous Holiday Season

~ Ocean

This beautiful song was written and copyrighted in 1975 by Gordon Bok, who has given his kind permission to repost it here. Gordon is a folk musician who lives in Maine. For more information or to book a concert (which could include this beautiful song!) check out his website at www.gordonbok.com

The beautiful photographs included in this post were taken by “Madison Guy”, an editor/writer/photographer who resides in Madison, Wisconsin. You can find his pictures over at flickr by clicking here or check out his blog Letter From Here to learn more about him and his photography.

The Yule Series – A Solstice Quiz

This is a repost of an article from Deaf Pagan Crossroads that I first posted a few years ago. I thought I would repost it for my readership. To find the answers to these questions, I encourage you to read through The Yule Series here at the Crossroads! 

To kick off our studies of the Winter Solstice, I have created this quiz with various questions related to the celebration of the holidays. See how many of the answers you know … No cheating and looking up the answers!

Don’t feel bad if you do not do so well on this quiz… we will be studying these various subjects over the next few weeks, and you will learn the answers as we go along!

1.) From what Latin phrase does the word “solstice” come from, and what does the phrase mean?

2.) Who is the Cailleach?

3.) What was the name of the ancient Roman festival from which many of our current holiday traditions come from?

4.) What was the name given to the plays or dances often performed in Britain and in some parts of the United States around the holiday season, which are based on ancient folk customs of enacting the rebirth of the year? (They are known by two different names, either one is acceptable)

5.) What was the name of the two ancient Pagan “kings” who fight each other at the Winter Solstice? Which one wins?

6.) What was the name of the three wise men who came to visit the Christ Child?

7.) What Greek sun god’s birth was celebrated at the time of the Winter Solstice, many years before the birth of Christ?

8.) What royal monarch is credited with helping to popularize the tradition of the Christmas Tree?

9.) A sprig from what type of tree which flowers around the Winter Solstice is traditionally placed on the breakfast table of the Queen of England every Christmas morning?

10.) What are the three sacred plants of the Winter Solstice?

11.) What “colorful” name is given to the Pagan character which is symbolic of the emergence from the death of Winter to the birth of new life in the Spring?

12.) What name is given to the item that is traditionally burned at the Winter solstice to honor the return of the sun, and as a reminder of the importance of fire and light?

13.) Who is the saint from which the character of Santa Claus is derived?

14.) What was the name of the little girl who asked if there really is a Santa Claus?

15.) What two birds represent the battle of light and dark which is one of the themes of the Winter Solstice, and which one gives its name to a group of young males, a “barbaric” custom, and a special day that symbolizes this ancient theme?

16.) What are the names of Santa’s reindeer?

17.) What is the official name for the Twelfth Night, which traditionally ends the Christmas season?

18.) Name the twelve gifts which are given in the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

Putting Down Roots

Earlier this year I wrote a post here at the Crossroads about “year words”…words which set the theme for what your year is going to be, what your focus will be.

I chose the word “roots.” To me it felt like the proper word, since I was beginning a journey in 2011 to explore my own roots and what they mean to me.

The word “roots” conjures up many meanings, amongst them being the

* A primary source; an origin

* A progenitor or ancestor from which a person or family is descended

* The condition of being settled and of belonging to a particular place or society

* The state of having or establishing an indigenous relationship with or a personal affinity for a particular culture, society, or environment

The above meanings especially resonate with me, as it seems this has been an important theme for me this year. After traipsing around the country for much of my adult life, living in 12 different states over the past 36 years, I’ve finally come home to my own roots…settling down on the banks of the Ohio River not far from where I was born and raised. I’m a native Hoosier from Southern Indiana, and I now live just on the other side of the river in Kentucky – a state I visited frequently as a child, and have always loved.

And now I’m putting down roots here in this area…

I’ve just bought my first house.

It’s a little place, just two bedrooms and one bathroom. But it’s the perfect size for this single gal and her two cats. It’s got a fireplace and wood floors. There’s a finished basement which I will make into a TV room with two Laze-Z-Boy recliners I inherited from my mother.

It also has a garage for my SUV, and a nice good-sized yard with plenty of space to grow my own herbs and veggies. In the front there’s a nice covered porch, the perfect place to hang up a porch swing and perhaps put a rocker or two – where I can invite my friends to come and sit for a spell, hand them a big glass of homemade lemonade, and watch the world go by.

I just closed on the house about two weeks ago, and I’m still in the process of moving things in. I’ve bought some antique furniture for my bedroom, and a sofa and chair for the living room – which will get covered in the new slipcovers I found at Overstock. Yeah, it’s going to take a bit of maneuvering to get everything to fit in its place…like I said, it is a small house.

But when it’s all done it will be comfy and cozy. A cute little cottage done up in a “funky, eclectic, Pagan-inspired Shabby Chic” theme.

And it will be all mine.

Okay…Karma and Gandalf may insist that it’s actually theirs, and I just bought it for them. Cats can be funny that way.

I will be all moved in by the middle of October. Then hopefully I can start inviting friends to come visit. There is a guest bedroom. If you’re in the area, feel free to stop by.

It feels good to have a house of my own.

My own roots.

Helping vs. Controlling

Continuing my theme of “help”… I now discuss the issue of helping someone as opposed to just taking over and controlling everything for them. This is a subject that many deaf and hard of hearing people know all too well – “do-gooders” who might have the best of intentions and who truly believe they are helping…but in reality are doing more harm than good. Many of us have horror stories we could share of such situations – the interpreter who interjects her opinions and gives you advice you were not requesting (and isn’t her role to be giving in the first place); the tutor who rather than help you with your English, insists on writing your paper for you; the social worker who takes care of all your problems instead of teaching you how to resolve them yourself. 

Of course, this issue is not limited strictly to deaf/hearing interactions. People in general have issues with the concept of help, as opposed to control. This can happen regardless of whether you are deaf, hearing, male, female, young, old, etc.

What’s important is to remember that helping is about empowering others, it’s not about doing for them. 

In any case, read on…

Okay. We’ve discussed the concept of helping.

You are going to politely offer your help, and wait until the other person accepts it before you do anything.

But they did accept your help. They wanted your help.

So now what do you do?

Very simple…you do what they ask you to do.

Nothing more and nothing less.

How many of you have known a person who was always eager to “help” – who constantly offered to help. S/he wasn’t always pushy about it…but just kept constantly asking, bringing it up over and over again, frequently offering.

But you were always nervous to accept that help, because you knew that if you said “Yes,” this person would think that meant they could take over and take control of everything?

I’m sure you know the type…this person immediately swoops down, totally ignores you and what you are saying, doesn’t pay any attention when you try to explain what it is you want, and then goes ahead and does the whole thing themselves (with maybe a little assistance from you), treating the whole project as if it was their own, and finishing the whole job themselves.

Then to add insult to injury, they expect you to admire their work, and tell them you could have never done it without their assistance.

And of course, they take credit for it as well.

Never mind that it was your project, and you were simply asking for a little help.

Never mind that you were looking forward to doing the project yourself (with a little bit of help!)….Never mind that you probably could have done it yourself.

It really wouldn’t have been all that hard, and then when it was finished, you would have had what you wanted, not what this “friend” thought you wanted.

You asked for help, and by Goddess, you’re gonna get it!

The problem is…you weren’t expecting this person to build the bookshelf for you. All you wanted were directions on how to use the belt sander.

Do you see where I’m coming from, Gentle Reader?

An offer to help should be an offer to be a consultant or an employee, not a boss.

If someone really asks you to just take over, because they are completely out of their depth, or need to go do something else…

Then, and only then…is it OK to treat it like your project.

And once you do offer and such offer is accepted, you should be the best consultant or employee that you can be.

If what they need is information, then give them the information they asked for as completely as you can.

Don’t ignore their request for directions on how to use the belt sander and tell them about the orbital sander instead.

If you think they are about to make a mistake, it is perfectly alright to say “I’ll tell you about the belt sander if you really want me to, but I am thinking that perhaps the orbital sander would do a better job on that bookshelf, because if I understood you correctly, you don’t want to sand the veneer completely off, you just want to smooth it, right?”

This will give them a chance to either ask you why the belt sander will take the veneer off, inquire what you mean by veneer, or tell you that, as a matter of fact, they hate this veneer and it’s gotta go!

Don’t make the choices and decisions for them. Give them the advantage of your experience, but let them use it or ignore it as they will.

It’s their life.

They are the ones who will be living with the results of their decisions.

Special thanks to Robin Wood – Pagan leader, author, artist, and teacher extraordinaire - whose writings on ethics (including her excellent book on the subject – “When, Why…If”) have played a key role in helping me to develop my own understanding of living an ethical life.

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