After some considerable deliberation regarding the proper style that I wanted, I got my hair cut the other day. Mind you, I am fussy about my hair. I won’t let just anyone work with it, so I go to an upscale Aveda salon located in the more “poshe” area of Louisville, where I’ve become a loyal fan of Carrie, who has cut my hair the last two or three times. She and I have a good rapport, she seems to know what I like, and she does a good job.
I got a nice medium-length bob with bangs.
I then posted a self-taken photo of myself with the new ‘do on Facebook to show all my friends:
My friend Bridget immediately responded with a comment telling me to
Smile, darn it!
Here’s the thing…
I don’t like to smile in pictures. I don’t like having my picture taken to begin with. I don’t think I look good in pictures, and I don’t like the way I smile. Frankly…I hate my smile. I think it makes my face look all scrunched up and funny, my eyes get all squinty, and you can see my crooked tooth. I’m self-conscious about that crooked tooth. I didn’t get braces as a kid, and as a result I don’t have a nice glamorous set of choppers. Instead I have a snaggle-tooth that sticks out and announces itself to everyone. So I tend to be uncomfortable showing my teeth in a picture.
But since Bridget insisted, I felt obliged to accommodate her request:
It was interesting to compare the comments to the two pictures. Everyone agreed that I looked better with a smile. Perhaps the most revealing comment came from my friend MoonRose, who had this to share:
When you don’t smile, you look like you are in your sixties. When you do smile, you look like you are in your forties. The smile takes twenty years off how you look. You definitely need to smile more often.
Wow. Twenty years with just one photo.
And for those of you who are wondering…I was born in October of 1958, making me 54.
And to think that when I don’t smile, I’m adding at least six years to my age. Eek!
It’s not only the haircut that has me thinking about the concept of beauty and youth and smiles and photographs and the like. It was perhaps precipitated by an article that was recently sent to me by my cousin – an article dated from June of 1976, written about me when I graduated from high school – the first deaf student to do so at William Henry Harrison High School. The article included a picture of myself at the young age of seventeen.
As I stared at that picture, I began to compare it with a recent (pre-haircut) picture of myself taken for a work ID. When I put the two of them side by side, the similarities were pretty amazing:
Wow.
I have had high school and college chums tell me that I really haven’t changed, that I still look much the same as I did back in the good ole days. Of course I would laugh and dismiss their statements with a “you’re too kind” sort of remark. But looking at these pictures, I can’t help thinking that there’s some truth to what these folks have been saying. When I remarked on this to a couple of friends, they all told me that I haven’t changed that much and I still look the same. Interesting thing is how several of them remarked that I still have that same sweet smile.
Crystal did mention that I have the same head tilt. I think I was born with that head tilt, Sis.
So I have been doing a bit of thinking lately.
Posting these pictures of myself with my new haircut made me think about the new Dove commercial that is making a sensation – how women view themselves and their own self-image.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out this article that recently appeared in the New York Times.
When I look at pictures of myself, I see all the negatives. I start thinking about how I would like to get rid of those bags and dark circles under my eyes, how I would like to remove that double chin, how I’d like to fix that damn crooked tooth of mine.
My own self-image could use some work.
In the Times article, it mentions that only 4% of women consider themselves beautiful.
That’s sad, and yet I think there is a lot of truth to it. I certainly don’t look at my pictures and see a beautiful woman there.
I find myself wondering how many of my friends feel the same way when they look at pictures of themselves.
The harsh reality is that our friends can tell us how beautiful we truly are until they are blue in the face, but until we start to really believe it ourselves, such words seem meaningless.
We need to change our own self-image.
We need to see ourselves as beautiful.
If you have not seen the Dove commercials about self-image and redefining beauty, then I suggest that you take a look at this one…
Then go look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you truly are.
The first one was taken in Muir Woods in California. I am a big fan of John Muir and quote his writings quite frequently on my own blogs. I didn’t get to spend nearly as much time exploring Muir Woods as I would’ve liked (it was a whirlwind tour of the area, trying to fit as much in as possible). I hope to go back. The redwood trees are awe-inspiring and walking into a redwood forest is, to me, like walking into a cathedral or other sacred ground. The amount of time some of the trees have experienced being on Mother Earth boggles my mind. I’m originally from the east coast of the U.S. and have spent the majority of my life and times east of the Mississippi River. Sights such as the redwoods and Yosemite are beyond anything we have on this side of the country. Not that we don’t have some great stuff. We do. But the redwoods! Wow. I think I spent most of our time in Muir Woods with my eyes wide in wonder and my mouth hanging open in awe.
The second photo was taken from Point Reyes, California. It rained and rained and rained for almost the entire trip (a few sunny spells here and there, including the day we went to Muir Woods). It was raining on our way out to Point Reyes. But by the time we got there the rain stopped. The clouds were doing some amazing things as they cleared out, and every now and again the sun would peek out from behind them, turning the Pacific Ocean shades of blue, silver, and even gold at times. I liked this view of the sea as seen through the V of Mother Earth.
The third photo is of a green frog, one of the many that hang out near our pond. I know that my hostess is Deaf and there are many deaf readers here so please pardon me as I describe the frogs a bit through their sound. They make a sort of “ponging” sound that’s similar to someone twanging on a banjo. At the height of their mating season, the sound is overwhelming at night, making it difficult to sleep. The bullfrogs generally join in the clamor and it’s like there’s a party going on out there. Once the pond is covered with frog eggs, the sounds start to die down a bit. The green frog is known for having a prominent tympanum (that big round thing you see just to the right and under its eye), and they are not always green. They lay 1000-7000 eggs. The great thing about having them around is that the tadpoles eat algae and water plants, keeping the pond relatively clean. In fact, we’ve found that most of the wildlife in and around the pond keep the pond in great shape, everyone doing their part so to speak. Green frogs are not particularly shy so photographing them is easy except that they do blend in quite well with their surroundings making it difficult to spot them at times. They’ll also eat anything they can fit in their mouths including smaller frogs, small birds, small snakes, and even their own cast off skin.
The next photo is of Fallingwater, the Frank Lloyd Wright house located just outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Honestly, this photo looks like just about every other photo you find of Fallingwater. There’s a reason for that. There’s a spot set aside with this view of the house and it’s the best outside view you can find on the property where the public is permitted to go. Osh and I thought this fit in well with the idea of living in harmony with the land. It’s worth touring as it’s quite interesting to see how Mr. Wright positioned it over the waterfall and incorporated the land around it (including large rock structures) into the house. Ceilings in the rooms were intentionally built low so as to direct the eye towards the outside to look at the beautiful surroundings.
The last photo was taken from the top of Mount Tamalpais in California and the curvaceousness of it seemed appropriate for this spot as representing Mother Earth. One of the great things about all that rain that fell while we were in the San Francisco area of California was that the land was very green. The green, the curves, and the hill and mountains reminded me of the Highlands of Scotland. On an even more personal note, I couldn’t resist doing a 
This sculpture shows the sign for "connect"...and that is what Deaf Pagan Crossroads is all about - making connections. Connections between Deafhood and Paganism, connections between the Deaf Community and the Hearing Community, connections between myself as the writer and you as the reader. I hope you will take the time to read my various posts, some of which are listed below. Welcome to the Crossroads, and I hope you make some connections here!
