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Archive for February, 2011

As a deaf person who grew up as a “solitaire” in an all-hearing, non-signing environment…this video made me cry. What a touching, loving, beautiful tribute to his sister.

 

Thank you, Joshua Bennett…for sharing your heart, your soul, and your poem with us.

 

 

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I received flowers today.
It wasn’t my birthday or a special occasion.
We had our first argument last night.
During the night he said a lot of cruel things to me that really hurt.
I know that he is sorry, because he sent me flowers today.

 

I received flowers today.
It wasn’t my birthday or a special occasion.
Last night he pushed me into the wall and started pounding me with his fists.
It seemed like a nightmare, I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me.
I woke up very sore and bruised this morning.
I know that he must be sorry
Because he sent me flowers today.

I received flowers today.
It wasn’t mother’s day or a special occasion.
Last night I was beaten violently.
Even more brutally than before.
If I leave him, what would happen to me? And the kids?
Financially I couldn’t make it and I don’t even know how to budget!
I am afraid of him, but I’m even more afraid to leave.
But I know that he regrets it,
because he sent me flowers today.

 

I received flowers today.
TODAY WAS A SPECIAL OCCASION.


It was my funeral.
Yesterday during the night he finally managed to kill me.
If only I found the courage to leave,
I wouldn’t have gotten flowers today.
Now I am sitting on my cloud and it finally dawned on me,
as I was watching my earthly family.
I should have been more courageous and broken the chain of violence,
because my son just hit his wife
and sent HER flowers today.

 

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Recently my friend Julie and I decided to try our hand (no pun intended!) at making our own drums. Julie was interested in possibly using them in a women’s support group she runs, and I was just curious to learn about making one…especially since I am now drum-less, thanks to the jerk who stole my beloved Ashiko drum Minerva.

Julie had done some research and learned how to make drums from cardboard form tubes – the kind used by builders for setting up concrete and the like. Basically you saw the tube in half, staple on the head, cover the form in fabric, and you’ve got a drum.

So off to Home Depot, Hobby Lobby, and JoAnne Fabrics to gather up our equipment.

Besides the cardboard form tubes, we also had to get handsaws, stapler and staples (the heavy one, not a simple desktop stapler), glue, embroidery hoops, pack cloth (or other material for drum head), electrical tape, clamps, and fabric to cover the tube.

We both had fun at JoAnne’s selecting material to cover the body of our drums. Julie picked up a number of different fabrics including a really pretty batik…while I got a watery print that looked like marbled fabric, and a red material with spirals decorating it.

Then armed with our goodies, we headed back to Julie’s place to begin our project.

tools used to create our drums

brushes and drum head material

our pretty collection of fabrics

The first thing we had to do was cut the cardboard tubing in half. It normally comes in 4-foot lengths, in various diameters. Julie and I got the 12-inch size, which is what I would recommend. You could also do an 8-inch or 10- inch diameter for a smaller drum head if you desire.

cardboard concrete form tube before cutting

We had hoped that Home Depot could cut these forms in half for us, but unfortunately we had to do it ourselves. It’s not TOO difficult, but it does require a good sharp handsaw and some effort. It will take some time to do this. I do recommend two people – one to hold the tube while the other does the sawing.

sawing the tube in half

Once we were finished sawing the tubes, it was time to glue on the embroidery hoops. These hoops are made from wood, and are glued to the inside of the tube to help reinforce your drum and provide a place for stapling the drum head fabric. Using wood glue, we applied it inside near the top edge of the tube…

wood glue applied to the cardboard tube

fitted our embroidery hoops into place (we used two – one on top of the other and glued together), and then clamped everything to hold it in place while the glued dried, which took 30 – 45 minutes.

embroidery hoop glued and clamped to tube

now waiting for the glue to dry

once dried, the second hoop is then glued on top of the first

for double strength

Next come the application of the drum head. There are a variety of materials which can be used for such – I’m not sure exactly what we ended up using, it looks like some type of synthetic leather. You could use packcloth, oilskin, rawhide, leather, goatskin, plastic cloth, etc. I’ve even read about people making them from old beach balls! The important thing is that it be thin and pliable. While many drum enthusiasts prefer the sound of natural skin, it may be more difficult and more expensive to obtain. In addition, some individuals may dislike using animal products. It’s really up to you.

If your material is not very pliable, you might need to soak it in water for awhile first so you can work with it easier. We didn’t have to do this with ours, but you may find it helpful to do so.

the fabric we used for our drum heads

I would definitely say that this is a two-person job. You need someone to help stretch this skin and hold it tightly while you’re stapling it to your tube. You want the drum head to be as tight as possible…otherwise it won’t drum well and you won’t get good sound off of it.

Start with putting a large square of the drum head material big enough to cover the opening over your tube, and staple it into place along the outside edge. Staple it so that your staples go into the embroidery hoop inside the tube. Then turn your tube around, and while your partner holds and stretches the material as tightly as possible, staple the opposite side. Then staple the other two sides so that you’ve got your material stapled on all four directions. Then begin working your way around, keeping the material as tight as possible, stretching and stapling.

holding material tightly while stapling to create drum head

Once you have finished stapling your drum head, it should look like this:

finished stapled drum head

Then just take a pair of scissors or shears and trim off the extra material close to the staples:

trimmed drum head

The next step is to cut some “sound holes” on the bottom of your drum. These let the sound filter out from your drum so that it will sound better while you are playing it. Use your hand saw and cut at least one or more triangles, rectangles or scallops (half circles) in the bottom edge of your drum. If you look at the picture below, you can see the sound holes cut into the bottom of the drum. We only made one triangular sound hole in the back of our drums, but I think if I make another in the future I will add additional holes like we see in these drums.

drums from the collection of Eldermusic/Annie O’Shea

Now you are ready for the fun part…decorating your drum! We chose to cover ours in fabric, but this is not the only option available. You can paint your drum (be careful not to get paint on the drum head!), cover it with wallpaper or scrap paper, or use fabric like we did. I like fabric because it comes in so many different colors and patterns, and you are sure to find something that you will like to match your personality.

We used Elmer’s Glue mixed with water to make it a bit more liquid so it would spread easier and not be quite so thick. You could use a fabric glue or spray on glue. I do recommend doing a small section at a time, and work TOWARDS yourself on the drum tube, so that you can flatten out bubbles and wrinkles along the way. Just spread glue on your section, and lay your fabric over it, then use a DRY foam brush to smooth it out and get rid of the wrinkles and air bubbles. Don’t worry if you can see the glue under the fabric…when it dries it will become invisible and you can’t see it.

smoothing out wrinkles and bubbles after glueing on fabric

working on the second drum…about  half finished with fabric

Now, we glued our fabric on right underneath the staples, and then later the staples were covered with electrical tape and a fabric band made to wrap around the drum edge and cover up the electrical tape/staples. This is one way you could do it. Or you could glue your fabric and then use pretty colored electrical tape or duct tape that matches/contrasts with your fabric to cover the staples. Or you could cover up the staples first with tape, and then cover the whole body from edge to edge with fabric. You can use a fabric band, or ribbon or fringe or rope or whatever. It’s really up to you. As I said, this is a chance to express your personality!

If you use fabric, you can “hem” it at the bottom of your drum by cutting it just a few inches longer than you drum, then turn it up inside your drum and either glue it or tape it into place. Or you could choose to just trim it off at the edge. Be sure to wrap it around or trim it at your sound holes as well. You might want to put some pretty colored tape or ribbon about the bottom of your drum as well.

You may want to spray your drum body with Scotchgard to help protect the fabric. If you decorate using paper, I would recommend putting a coat of varnish on it for protection. Although these drums can be used outdoors for drumming circles, bear in mind that they are made from cardboard and not truly waterproof. I would consider them better for indoor activities.

Julie’s drum

(notice band made of the same fabric around upper edge, covering staples)

Ocean’s Drum

(I made my band double-width, using two different fabrics;

one is the same fabric as the drum body, other is a contrasting fabric)

Making these drums was a lot of fun, and not really that hard. It’s mostly just time-consuming. It might make a fun project for a group. I would recommend that if time is an issue, you might want to prepare the drums in advance by doing the sawing in half, cutting the sound holes, and glueing in the hoops. Then the group can staple on the drum heads and decorate them as they desire. Although perhaps not quite the same as having a nice wooden ashiko or djembe, these drums can still serve a purpose.

I’m looking forward to making my next one!

If you would like to learn more about making your own drum,

check out this site for more information and instructions:

http://rhythmweb.com/homemade/tubes.htm



 

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Because three is one of my favorite numbers, I like to do things in threes. Thus this is my third and final post on the CSI episode featuring the Deaf actors and actresses. Overkill? Maybe – but there are a number of different topics from that show that one can focus on, and I’ve chosen to do so in separate posts. Anyone who knows me knows I’m famous for long and rambling writings. I figured I would take pity on my readers and cut them into three nice and more readable pieces. So enjoy this final post wrapping up my thoughts…

In my second post I shared a Facebook comment made by “Deaf Dude” in response to my inquiry to friends on what they thought about this episode.

Now it’s the lady’s turn. “Deaf Dudette” had some thoughts to share as well:

Things that irritated me:

1) the appearance of a TTY
2) interpreters being everywhere — the PD would usually supply these
3) a printed transcript of a voicemail for a deaf character found in the trashcan as evidence. REALLY?
4) I got so excited about finally having a show with deafies in it that is just about them being people… and then in the end it ended up going back to being the hearing/deaf thing that fueled the crime.
5) a CODA with an ASL mom who can barely sign
6) Marlee Matlin’s atrocious melodramatic acting. I actually like Marlee but this wasn’t her best, and she certainly wasn’t helped by the triteness of the script.
7) The weird slow signing deaf people do on TV. It just never looks natural.
7) like you said Osh, ignoring the NUMBER ONE thing deaf people do when they meet each other: where you from, where’d you go to school, who do we both know? But then again, if a deaf person consulted on this script the episode would probably have fallen through… and ok, I’ll shut up now.

I would never tell you to shut up, Dudette. Actually, I think you’ve made some valid points here.

Let’s start with addressing your first complaint – the TTY thing.

I agree with you. In today’s day and age, for a television program to still show these antiquated telecommunication devices was a pretty bad judgment call.

Now, while I am sure most members of the Deaf Community were probably rolling their eyes, groaning, and thinking “what the heck are those things doing in this show?” my hearing readers are likely wondering why we’re so irritated about such. So let me explain this here and now…

TTYs are pretty much obsolete, folks.

I can’t remember the last time I used one. I don’t even have one any more, and neither do a lot of my Deaf friends. At my last Deaf Services position out in California, while I did have a TTY in the office it usually just sat around in the corner of my desk gathering dust. You might find the occasional Deaf Senior who still uses one. Perhaps the individual living out in the boonies where there’s no cable or high-speed internet available, or maybe the Deaf person who although living in the big city, doesn’t have the funds to afford such service.

Nowadays most Deaf people prefer to communicate via a VideoPhone – a system much like using a webcam or Skype… which allows for visual communication utilizing American Sign Language (ASL) – the natural language of the Deaf Community. In addition, we use such a device to contact Video Relay Services, which allows us to make telephone calls via a sign language interpreter who appears on the screen to translate the call for us. Most Deaf people can get such a device at no cost, and make phone calls free of charge. The devices do work over high speed internet lines, thus the need to have such service available – which the Deaf person does have to pay for. Hence the reason why some folks don’t have one…although my experience is that they would still prefer to use a public one at the Deaf Services agency or in the library or similar location rather than resort to typing on a TTY.

Like I said…TTYs belong in the stone age.

Now to discuss the comment about the CODA’s poor signing skills.

For those of you who do not know…CODA stands for “Child of Deaf Adults” – the hearing son or daughter of Deaf parents. It usually refers to an adult, while KODA with a K means “Kid”…a juvenile child.

While I do understand where “Deaf Dudette” is coming from, and can appreciate her irritation, I would like to offer up some thoughts of my own on this subject…

I feel we need to get away from the thought that all CODAs have great ASL skills.

Yes, I realize that it’s a common expectation. I think it’s fueled to a certain extent from the fact that the majority of CODAs that we come in contact with do in fact have that high level of proficiency – because they have chosen to maintain such. They have taken their background and utilized it to their (and our) advantage by going into professions within the Deaf Community – such as interpreting, teaching, etc.

But in my experience of working in the Deaf Community, I have met family members of Deaf individuals who did not sign any better than Gil did in this program…and that included some children of ASL parents. For every CODA who does grow up to become a certified interpreter, there are others who choose to go to college and study some other profession, and then may end up getting a job and moving away to another area, where they don’t interact with Deaf people. As the saying goes… “if you don’t use it, you lose it.”

So were Gil’s signing skills poor? Yes. Were they unrealistic? Not necessarily. Considering that he only sees his wife once a month, can you expect that he sees his Deaf mother (who is probably the only person he uses his signing skills with) any more often?

Okay…yes, he could call her on one of those above-mentioned videophones, and thus be able to keep in touch and practice his signing skills at the same time. But we have to remember that such visual telecommunication devices are a fairly new thing… and Gil isn’t a young man – he’s in his fifties, so he’s probably been on his own for thirty years or more. Actually his skills were not that horrible. While not the greatest, they weren’t the worst either. I’ve seen some pretty atrocious signing in my lifetime – not only on television, but in real life. At least Gil was comprehensible, even if he wasn’t very fluent.

The hearing/deaf thing? I don’t think you’re ever going to get rid of that. As long as most of society continues to be woefully ignorant about Deaf Culture and the Deaf Community, it’s always going to be about the hearing/deaf thing. Yes, I think television exploits it and exaggerates it, but that’s the nature of the beast.

Overall, I think the episode did have its strengths and its weaknesses. I’ve discussed some of those weaknesses in my three posts. The strengths are perhaps a little more subtle and not as obvious. I did think Phyllis Frelich did an excellent job with her role. I liked what fellow blogger Deaf Pundit had to say:

Phyllis Frelich particularly shone in this episode  – she was perfectly cast. The character was a vibrant, brilliant and opinionated woman who knew exactly what she’s doing and made sure everyone else knew it too!

Yup…gotta admire a woman like that.

I also agree with Deaf Pundit that this episode was educational for those who have had little exposure to the Deaf Community. It was a chance for them to learn a little about American Sign Language, about Deaf Culture, and about the fact that Deaf people can and do live normal lives as happy, intelligent, productive members of society. We work and we play. We laugh and we cry. We love and we hate. We enjoy music, sex, and going out for dinner with family members – just like the majority of folks do.

Yes, we have our differences…

but those differences don’t have to make any difference.

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