Deaf Pagan Crossroads

As Ginny and I continued our trek down to the Cove itself, my mind was spinning with all the lessons I had been learning along the way…

Lessons about Nature.

Lessons about Re-birthing.

Lessons about Examining Oneself.

Lessons about Fear.

Lessons about Journeying.

Lessons about Protection.

Lessons about Wisdom and Power.

Lessons about Learning and Unlearning.

Lessons about Change.

Lessons about Anger.

Lessons about Life itself.

That’s a lot of lessons to learn on a simple two-mile hike.

But as I am fond of saying… Mother Earth is our greatest teacher, and there is so much we can indeed learn from Her, if we would only take a moment to sit and pay attention to what She is telling us.

As we trod along the dirt road, Ginny and I got into a conversation about identity. We talked about how I identified myself as a woman – being both Deaf and Pagan. One of the things that I have been asked on occasion, and have even questioned myself:

Am I a Pagan woman who happens to be deaf… or a Deaf woman who happens to be pagan?

I am both.

I am a Deaf woman.

I am a Pagan woman.

These are both integral parts of myself.

They go together.

Then Ginny added yet another part – looking at me, she smiled and said

I see you as an adventurous woman!

Wow. I’m not sure if I would have chosen that adjective on my own, but once Ginny said it, there was something about that description that felt right… felt rather flattering, actually.

Adventurous.

I’m reminded of something that Helen Keller – who was both deaf and blind – once said:

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.

Ginny went on to talk about a poem of sorts that she sometimes uses in therapy or in ritual… while she’s uncertain as to its actual origin, from what she can recall, many years ago it ran as a single line along the bottom of the pages of a probably long-defunct pagan magazine, and someone in her coven copied it out this way – maybe adding a word or two. Anyone reading it may have a word pop into her mind that she’d like to see here and add.

The sheer numbers of the descriptive words feel as if they give permission to experience a wide range of feelings and attitudes, and not to be stuck in any of them.

I am being a woman   I am a full woman

I am a mighty woman   I am a sensitive woman

I am a strong woman   I am a free woman

I am a caring woman   I am a hopeful woman

I am a creative woman   I am a majical woman

I am a sweet woman

I am a fearless woman   I am a miracle woman

I am a wise woman   I am a live woman

I am a skillful woman   I am a witty woman

I am a healing woman   I am an accepting woman

I am a witch woman   I am an intolerant woman

I am a spiraling woman  I am a worthy woman

I am an expanding woman  I am a vigorous woman

I am a contracting woman  I am a triumphant woman

I am an encouraging woman  I am an orgasmic woman

I am a dreaming woman  I am an independent woman

I am a laughing woman  I am a women-loving woman

I am a crying woman   I am a daughterly woman

I am a sharing woman   I am a conquering woman

I am a musical woman   I am a reliable woman

I am an involved woman  I am an orderly woman

I am a spontaneous woman  I am a jolly woman

I am an assertive woman  I am a confident women

I am a happy woman   I am a serious woman

I am an earth woman   I am a priceless woman

I am a tough woman   I am an open woman

I am a watchful woman  I an a hard woman

I am a pure woman   I am a soft woman

I am a self-identified woman  I am a blessed woman

I am a fair woman   I am a nursing woman

I am a universal  woman  I am a fierce woman

I am a visionary woman  I am a traveling woman

I am a critical woman   I am a rising woman

I am an intense woman  I am a shacking woman

I am a delightful woman  I am a patient woman

I am a sisterly woman   I am a revolutionary woman

I am a dying woman   I am a feminist woman

I am a spinning woman  I am a defending woman

I am a fighting woman   I am a flesh and bone and blood woman

I am a protecting woman  I am a simple woman

I am a protected woman  I am a quiet woman

I am a wild woman   I m a sacred woman

I am a proud woman   I am a mature woman

I am a discriminating woman  I am a working woman

I am a growing woman  I am a child woman

I am a sure woman   I am a motherly woman

I am a questioning woman  I am a Goddess woman

I am a courageous woman  I am a harvesting woman

I am a new woman   I am a passionate woman

I am an ancient woman  I am a sympathetic woman

I am a demanding woman  I am a rebellious woman

I am a sexual woman   I am a frowning woman

I am an uppity woman   I am a mad woman

I am a unique woman   I am a sane woman

I am a laboring woman  I am a bold woman

I am a clear  woman   I am a delicate woman

I am a particular  woman  I am an intuitive woman

I am a rich woman   I am a lonely woman

I am a supportive woman  I am a sad woman

I am an honest  woman  I am  an unlimited woman

I am a trusting woman   I am a smiling woman

I am a nurturing woman  I am a celeb rating woman

I am a concerned woman  I am an inspired woman

I am an intimate woman  I am a beautiful woman

I am a sensual woman   I am an expressive woman

I am a focused woman   I am a guided woman

I am a wandering woman  I am a merciful woman

I am a raging woman   I am a persistent woman

I am a poetic woman   I am a magnificent woman

I am an effective woman  I am a colorful woman

I am a needy woman   I am a useful woman

I am an evolving woman  I am an embracing woman

I am an indignant woman  I am a gypsy woman

I am a political woman   I am a questing woman

I am an angry woman   I am a newborn woman

I am a friendly woman   I am a radical woman

I am an excited woman  I am a balanced woman

I am a timeless woman   I am a challenged woman

I am a dark woman   I am an ordinary woman

I am a husky woman   I am an extraordinary woman

I am a cautious woman  I am a peaceful woman

I am a generous woman  I am a woman’s woman

I am a reserved woman  I am a powerful woman

I am a solid woman   I am a playful woman

I am a little woman   I am a kind woman

I am a heavy woman   I am a searching woman

I am a cold woman   I am a weaving woman

I am a shy woman   I am a loving woman

I am a disciplined woman  I am a spiritual woman

I am a complete woman  I am a moon woman

I am a flowing woman   I am a dancing woman

I am an able woman   I am a singing woman

I am a psychic woman   I am a joyful woman

I am a humble woman   I am  a successful woman

I am a determined woman  I am an responsible woman

I am a great big woman  I am an amazing woman

I am a curious woman   I am a healthy woman

I am a building woman  I am a mysterious woman

I am a renewing woman  I am an aggressive woman

I am a changing woman  I am an emotional woman

I am an unshakable woman  I am a destroying woman

I am a willful woman   I am a whimsical woman

I am a learning woman   I am a rejoicing woman

I am a teaching woman  I am a busy woman

I am an important woman  I am a whole woman

I am a gentle woman   I am a believing woman

I am an annoyed woman  I am a matriarchal woman

I am an adult woman   I am a fruitful woman

I am a forceful woman   I am an artist woman

I am a discriminating woman  I am a working woman

I am an adventurous woman  I am a fulfilled woman

I am a seeking woman   I am an adamant woman

I am a shocking woman  I am a clever woman

As Ginny explains

It was an unusual experience just to type that phrase over and over – “I am a …. woman” , and when we’ve used it in ceremony in the coven, it’s been very powerful taking turns and having the words swirl around us.

It was a very powerful experience for me just to read them, and then retype them here in this post.

I think there’s something very powerful in therapy about being able to say something that is like a little pseudopod reaching out from an amoeba; it may be safely retracted, but being able to send out a trial feeling or approach and know it’s not set in stone is very freeing.  This collection of possible women has something of that same feeling. During our first coven instructions so many years ago, when we first exchanged “Thou art the Goddess”, it was such an empowering wonder-full thrill that it’s never left me when we still make that exchange.  Anything is possible.

- Ginny Anderson

As we continued to trod down the road to the cove, I began to feel that sense of freedom, that sense of power, that thrill that indeed… anything is possible. Life is indeed a daring adventure, and I was on my own personal adventurous journey.

I am a secret agent
Of the moon
Ex-centric
Extra-ordinary
Extra-sensory
Extra-terrestrial
Celestial subversive
Con-spiritorial
Spirita Sancta
Holy
Holy
Holy
And then some…

And I have friends.

~ Barbara Starrett

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